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Adolph and the Fourth Reich of Rock

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  • Damned activist judges
    > Mein vuz unavare dat der Negroes knew how to balance der large bratvursts on der bi-cycull. No vonder dis man had dis....dis...aberration kilt!
    > I understand the president will be awarding the young bald man the metal of honor within the next few days.
    > Wait...so are we at war with Egyptian dogs too? Whhaaa?
    > Egyptian dogs and Persian cats, RB.
    > Dere's no pussy like a Purrsian vun....
    > Oh Lord this is so sad. That man was just trying to help our society, and some gay Moslim judge put him in jail? Where's the justice yawl?
    > Very best site. Keep working. Will return in the near future.
  • Thank goodness Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity are safe at home
    > Mein t'inking Laura Ingraham ist viping schweat from her balls....errrr, brow, mein mean...
    > thank goodness billO got back from there safe and sound. He was so brave walking down the streets of Baghdad in his street clothes handing out "the fuck stops here" golf balls to all the children. Remember he showed us the new school that had just been built and they had almost all the dead civilians hidden under the blankets as the camera swung around the room? Remember the pride you felt at that moment?
    > Mein missed dat moment, PoP, as mein vere cryink mein eyes out at how happy der leetle kinder looked, playing mit Bill's balls...
    > I don't know what I would do if anything happened to that dreamy Sean Hannity!
    > I don't know what I would do if anything happened to that dreamy Sean Hannity!
    > I know what I would do, Sporty.
    > Acourse Al Jizzera is making it up, Richie. They make up everthing they report.

    I just don't know what I would do if that was Billy O'Reilly or Ann Coulter. I would be so very devistated yawl. I hope none of my heros here (like Rush Limbaw) git all blowed up. Who would Betty Jo lissen at?
    > Hi! Just want to say what a nice site. Bye, see you soon.
    > Hallo I absolutely adore your site. You have beautiful graphics I have ever seen.
  • Tuesday Morning Tire Fire
    > Pass the marshmallows, beef fat, and beer, Sporty! Yee-haw!
    > Can ve toss some Choose on dat fire?
    > Oh here's the tire fire! I was wonderin where it was. Makes me want to go out an kill a fambly of something or other and fry 'em up!
    > Your are Excellent. And so is your site! Keep up the good work. Bookmarked.
  • Memorial Day 2006
    > Hooray for war!
    > Exactly, darling! War is ever so profitable for us, don't you know?
    > No kidding, Ivana. Do you know how much higher prosthetics company profits are these days?

    Every time an IED explodes, an angel gets its new hook hand!
    > And every time an IED explodes KBR gets another contract to provide security ... sweet!
    > You just gotta love war. It gets rid of all our riff raffs, and gets Muslims out of our hair all at the same time. Them people cryin sure was big babies. Ain't they never sackerficed for they country before? Sheesh.
    > Looks nice! Awesome content. Good job guys.
    > I really enjoyed looking at your site, I found it very helpful indeed, keep up the good work.
  • One Fluid Movement
    > Yep.
    > Ist dis some kinda code? Mein t'inking Shporty should try his hand at a real man's shport, like hunting...
    > Listen Carl,

    If Charles can be obsessed with bike riding, I can be obsessed with jai alai!
    > Bike riding?

    Zounds untermenschen to mein. Dat's vot dose French sissyboys do in der summer, mit der pretty yallow zhirt und der two veels mit all dose men schwaeting up der hill to get a new vardrobe, jah?
    > Ja.
    > Carl, I hadn't even thought about the possibility of a coded message. Maybe Sporty's in trouble!

    "Slung the Pelota" is an anagram for "A Glee Shunt Plot!"

    Sporty's being held by the Glee Club at an East Coast Ivy League liberal college! With a Shunt in her/his head!

    Where, Sporty? Where?

    "Cestas off the cancha" is an anagram for "A CASA CHEF OFT STENCH."

    Which Ivy League city has the stinkiest Mexican restaurants? Cambridge!

    We're on our way, Sporty!

    Carl, fire up the Munstermobile!
    > What in Our Dear Lord and LEader, George W. Bush's, name are yawl talking about? I hope it ain't sex, yawl.
    > Very pretty site! Keep working. thnx!
    > Hi ;)
    heh... what demented news!
    what do U think about it?
  • My new book
    > Glad to see you back, Mal! Is your book already an international bestseller, like every book ever written by folks on our side?

    Yes? Good. Good.
    > But I got him in the end. Or, ahem, not quite the end. I lured him up to my apartment, convinced him that bondage was a good thing, and then feasted on some tiny bits of his anatomy.

    For dis you broke mein date mit you????
    > We're considering Ramesh for the D.C. Circuit!
    > YOU done did that to his voice? Yawl are so crule, Mal. That poor man sounded like a cartoon mouse or some shit.

    I bet your book is better, Mal. I really do. Can I git me an advanced copy or something?
    > Super color scheme, I like it! Good job. Go on.
  • Don't they know that they have to do everything the president says?
  • Happy Graduation, to all our readers!
    > Good american father smoking while holding baby while graduating. He's already able to multi-task. American's future at its best.

    (good luck little baby, I think you're going to need a lot of it)
    > While I commend the father for holding the baby, he should have asked his underaged teen mother girlfriend to hold his cigarette. Thats just good gender modeling.

    heres hoping he didn't burn the poor baby's frikin head.
    > PoP: Multitasking is important. I figure we can just ship father and son over to Iraq now.

    EM: I couldn't agree more. How else is junior gonna learn "if she smokes she pokes" like my daddy taught me.
    > Its so good to see another patriotic white 'murican poised to climb the ladder of success by graduating.

    Good luck, D.J. Wingo!
    > D.J. is a local favorite. He's always inventing stuff, including D.J. Wingo's Thingamajingo, a high potency mix of marijuana, NyQuil, and tartar sauce. Surprisingly tasty on Triscuits.
    > Surprisingly tasty on Triscuits.

    Und vot country did dey shneak into Amerikkka from?
  • Look what some jerkwad stuck on my Hummer
    > Sticky stuff at the end of a hummer is a bummer. But it's natural.
    > I don't follow, Patricia.
    > Mein gott, vot a handsome men! Mein t'ink mein'd like to shee him doink our own Betty Cho und Patricia!

    Comenzee frauleins, ist time to do your duties...
    > Oh, sorry I thought this was about a bill clinton sort of hummer. My bad ;)
    > Bill Clinton drives a Hummer? Well, goddammit, I gotta sell mine now. Why didn't someone tell me before?
    > well richie, it's a little known secret just like the secret that al gore is said to drive one too. That environment thing is just his cover story.
    > Patricia, you're just twistin' that knife, woman.
    > Electrify that sucker ... let them try it again.
    > Hi, I see your blog is talking about Hummers. Are you looking for anything related to Hummers or Humvees? Hummers, or Hummer parts & accessories? And the best part, every item can be had at auction prices. Just wanted to pass this tidbit of info along. Thanks.
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  • Our leader is a wise man
    > Speaking as a member of that elite group that didn't wander across the pond three hundred years ago, I have to say (in an extremely posh and haughty English accent) that you 'yanks' clearly have no idea what you are talking about. Concubines??? For god's sake, it's a hareem or nothing. If we (that's us, not you) are ever to follow up on the Master Race idea then it should be done properly. Since the US of A is entirely populated from immigrants, how could you (haughty laugh) ever do it? Phah! No, my dear, misguided rednecks, it can only be done by the real 'palefaces'. So, if you would all kindly step aside and allow us to reestablish our global empire then we would be most grateful.

    You know I'm right.
    > What? Are you French or somethin'?
    > Den may he nebber find out vot hees history ist!
  • How are we going to rebuild the white race if men can't cheat?
    > Reichminister Karl, can we work on getting comprehensive concubine legislation introduced in the House and Senate?

    We need a fag bill and a brown-person bill wrapped up before the 2006 midterms, but after that, I'll see what I can do.
    > Thanks, Karl. I knew I could count on you.
    > This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
    > I think yawl gone hafta have a brown/asian bill, 'cause concubines is chinese or Indians ain't they?

    Hey though Richie. If I caught my Minitmaid man with some hoochie mama doing the nasty, I'd whoop 'em both with worser than a can of Raid, I tell you what.

    That lady sure is tolerint for bein from Alabama and shit.
    > Good lord, you people are so 10th century! I came over here to see what you're up to and you're talking "concubines?"

    Get real dittoheads!
    > Hey Helen:

    Don't bring your liberal ass in here to shatter my dreams!

    And betty jo, your more than enough woman for any man to need concubines. I was thinking more of guys like myself. My wife won't have marital relations with me unless I wear a Clay Aiken mask. It was fine for a while, but the new Beatles haircut pisses me off.
    > I agree, she would have better served the situation by pouring several glasses of wine.
    > Mein TOTALLY agrees mit you, Herr McVite! I t'ink every voman zhould make herself available to every man on a "ass-needed" bazis!

    Chust like in der Gor novels mit de shtories of nekkind shlave girls und powerful varriors who fuck at der drop of der shvord, vich are ectually true shtories dat der CIA has shuppressed to keep der lesbians from revolting!
    > Helen Wheels said...
    Good lord, you people are so 10th century! I came over here to see what you're up to and you're talking "concubines?"

    Vot is der "concubines"? Ish dat some zort of farm eqvipment?
    > Carl, it depends. Some of my concubines can pick up ears of corn withour their hands. If you get what I mean. HAR HAR!!

    It's great being white and male.
    > Jah, Herr McVite, I know vot you mean about grabbing by der ears.

    No I don't.
  • Bringing out the big dogs
    > Oh shit, what if they reproduce and give birth to something?
    > PoP,

    Dey did. In fact, der vedding took place der day after his daughter's deat'

    Dat's de American vay! Marry der bitch you've been schtupping for decades, and ven der kid dies, shrug und move on!
    > PoP, what do you mean, if?

    Don't you know that we need more white babies?

    Come on, lady! Get your shit together!
    > Mein humbly volunteer mein shervices to knocking der PoP oop.
    > Damn richie, you're right. What was I thinking? I know what happened. I dropped the party line and forgot to pick it up again.

    I'll keep a tighter grip on it in the future.

    Imagine the fine creature these two refined creatures could produce. I would suggest a name for the little dog/child. How about spot or spike.
    > That's okay, PoP. I forgive you. Jesus, however, is still kinda pissed.
    > Sometimes Jesus needs to take a deep breath and relax. I tell him that everytime he talks to me and the NSA agent on my heaven hot line.
    > pissed off patricia said...
    Sometimes Jesus needs to take a deep breath and relax.

    If zomeone gave Him ein blowzhob...
    > They're white, but they're disturbing somehow ...
    > Oh them folks is my favorites! I'm so happy for them!

    They should have a ton o babies 'cause theys totally the perfect people don't yawl think so?
    > Betty Jo Goering said...
    Oh them folks is my favorites! I'm so happy for them!

    They should have a ton o babies 'cause theys totally the perfect people don't yawl think so?

    Dey are outshtanding exampulls of der master race...I mean, Americans. Look at der arms on Dog. And dose large American breastses on hiss bitch.
    > Those are breasts? I just assumed she had cancer. Certainly they're not augmented. No one would want 92 pounds of extra weight on her chest, right?
    > You mean these people are real? I just assumed that they are another of these yankie doodle TV shows with a massive prosthetics budget.

    Well, I say!

    Don't you people just move them down to one of those gheto things and forget them?

    We do. Works very well here you know. I never get bothered by their sort anymore.

    So, these children of theirs. Are they allowed out without medication? Must be awfully exciting to see them in public. Spifffy.
    > Yes, Famu, they certainly aren't high-quality entertainment like Upstairs Downstairs or Fawulty Towers or any of that namby pamby gibberish you guys watch.
    > Famulus said...
    You mean these people are real?

    As real as der Spice Girls, fancypantsboy...
  • What a Woman!
    > You just can't keep a good racist woman down!
    > I don't like the Klan. They're too soft on race issues.
    > Big SHMILE! Big SHMILE!

    I'm zo happy for her, and dem!
    > That there woman is my new hero worship.
  • Praise God
    > Preach on, Brother Richie! Besides, are not these so-called "victims" in a better place now? By that I mean the morgue, which must be infinitely preferable to being alive in Baton Rouge!
    > It vast probably some Chew who didn't like der shermon...
    > The Da Vinci Code must have driven him to it ...
    > Rex, that's the funniest comment I've seen in a while.
    > Carl and Karl:

    Maybe it was a Jew who had just seen the Da Vinci Code.
    > Jah, Herr McVite, probably zome heat'en Chew vut had chust seen der code....ditto!
    > Yeah them librual mofos probly gone blame it on the Christians, alright. They always do. So someone in a church kilt someone. well, sometimes a temper flares. That's just human, ain't it?

    Damn libruals, always making a big honkin deal out of everthang. Next thing you know they gone try outlawing semiautomatic weapons agin. I hate them parinoid libruals, yawl.
  • The War on Eco-Terror is over
    > She look like a woman what was being de-gayed at Good Shephard with me. Damn!
    > Betty Jo, was you degayed at the Good Shepard in Hot Springs? Me, too!
    > Dot sayz it all, Herr McVite! Der "Indeego Girlz"...dey are not-vite!
    > Who's the dyke?
    > Naw, Richie, mine was in South Carolina. You prolly went to one of the branches. They got a whole franchise. They also got one just fer kids. y'know for sissy boys who play with dolls and shit.

    Also for "tom-boy" girls who won't wear a shirt and climb trees.
  • War on Terror over ... again
    > Does this mean we have turned a corner? What do you call a shape with this many corners? Does is sound like canine intercourse?
    > I hope that there Muslim is in for a good, old fashioned linchin. That's what we do to towelhead types out in Downey.
    > Der bigots in der Ishlamofascist movement haff reshorted to making up names for dere characters now????
  • Score one for the home team!
    > Oh indeed, I'm sure jesus himself swore the good judge in when he was given his judge crown.
    > Judge crown? There's only one guy that wears a crown in this monarchy - watch yourself!
    > FINALLY! Ve shcore vun for OUR zide!

    Now. Ve need to round up der entire leeberal Democratic Ishlamofascist regime dat rools dis nayshun und send zem to ze camps!
    > Shwew, that is so good to here. Can you imagine what the hell would happen if'n this terrist (alleged my ass) had his way yawl? He'd be blowin us all to smithereens. You can tell by the way he looks all moslem and his name too.
    > No doubt, Betty Jo. There ain't nothing I fear more than a Muslim with long hair and no beard. That's the kind that wants you to think they ain't crazy.
    > Them's the type that'll hide explosifs in there hair. You just watch! I seen 'em do it before!
  • Italy Pulls a Murtha
    > The cowards! I suppose they're against us now. hmmph! Thats how they thank us for making the world a safer place.
    > All the have in Italy are queers and Italians anyhow.

    Who needs 'em?
    > I always found Italians sort of femmy. So I ain't surprised they take the first chance they git to turn tail and run. Sissies.
    > Der Italians pullink out? Does der Pope know about dis? Mein gott! Ve must shend John Gibson over dere NOW to make more der Italian bebes!
    > I'm not having any pizza. Just Peace Pie.
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  • Americas New War on Terror
    > The gators are sick and tired of their home ponds being filled in in order to build another Walmart or a trailer park. They're mad as hell and they aren't gonna take it any more.
    > Mebbe ve could transhport der illegal Mejicans vorkers to Florida to clean out der pools und canals?
    > We've got Jeb on it ... he's baiting the traps with "Buchanan voters" ...
    > Send in the National Guard!
    > Who woulda thought terrists could dress up like alligators? Or did they train real alligators?
    > Betty Cho,

    Dey ARE terroreests! Dose towelheads got der green shkin und der sharpened teeth for which to biten der young virgins mitten.
  • Leave them good ol' boys alone
    > How ist it "rape" ven she's brown?
    > Yeah, Richie, rape is only a crime when its a black man rapin a white woman. This here ain't right, yawl. What is these poor white boys doin being accused of rapin some stripper? Ain't she askin for it, goin to their party dressed in a g string and wavin her fanny in they faces? Lordy Lord. What's this world comin to yawl?
    > Jah, Betty Cho, dey is yust good boys dat vere led on by dis Nubian temptress to shpill dere seed in der wrong place...

    Now, as you know, mein enjoys a good G string on a vummun's oss, but mein vants to see der vite vummun's oss!
    > We white people are coming back, you know ... Gibson on Fox said to make more babies. Betty Jo? Carl? Are you schtupping for America?
    > Herr Reichsminister,

    I veel shtup for ennayt'ing!
    > Can I just have oral sex for America?
    > I ain't shctuppin nothin ever since my man went and became a MinuteMaid!
    > Und to t'ink I gave Betty Cho de best ten zeconds of her life!
  • About damn time
    > Don't worry - Iran won't require too many soldiers ... and it'll be over in a few days!
    > It's time they start guarding the nation!! My cousing told me that the brownskinistas have already set up a New Mexico on this side of the border. Outrageous!
    > Mein tinking dat ve coult sholve two problems mit one shtone, und tell our lezy-ess shlacker guardsmen to drive up und down der auto--I mean, highway, picking dese people off mitten der Hummers. Dis vay, a great American company can reshtart production of a great Amerikkkan automobile, und ve can knock off a few vetbecks in der prochess...

    ....oh, und pass along ein subsidy to der shtruggling oil companies. Jah.
    > K. ron silkwood, you made me laugh a lot.

    I agree, my 52 year old friend who was sent to Iraq for 14 months at the beginning of the war has since been a lazy old grandfather just playing with the grandkids when he can and still attending guard meetings every month. I'm going to tell him he owes it to his country to go to the border and protect his right to be an American National Guard.
    > Yeah Richie them National guys should work, alright. Why they sittin around using up my tax dollars? That makes Betty Jo madder 'n I usually get at mofo patchooli-smellin, greesy haired libruals. Why ain't they catchin Mexicans so's we can have our white jobs back?
    > PoP,

    Jah, he can shit down dere on his fat can, drink all der cerveza in Mejico, and peeck off der brownshir---SKINS mit his shotgun, radder den shitting on his fet ass mit his grandshildren...
    > Betty Cho,

    Dose Mejicans run fast!
    > Ron,

    I heard there was even part of Mexico in California! There's a big race there or something. Double outrageous! Massive hit points!
    > Oh my, I've been found out...soaking up tax dollars, and blogging sedition to boot...LOL!
  • Hey Activist Judge! Stop Picking on Our Guys!
    > Dey need to run der trials dew vay ve deed back in Nicey Chermany, und dezide der verdict ahead of time und DEN hold der trial!
    > All these guys at Enron did was manipulate the market to make a shitload of cash. What is wrong with that? Isn't this America?
    > Don't worry - the pardons are in the word processor ... all we have to do it hit print.
    > Simeon sounds real Jewy to me. What yawl think?
    > Betty Jo, you always had a good Jew-smellin' nose. I think you're right.
  • That'll Teach Them Gators to Mess With Our White Wommen!
    > So you're advocating an alligator Border Patrol?
    > Der vite voman beat der lizard????
    > Someone round up the minutemen. Maybe we can throw the border-jumpers to our hungry underfed alligators.
    > It oughta show yawl that white people just meant to be here and brown ain't. See, even a old gray haired lady could fight off a alligator but that young Mexican thang couldn't.

    I still think we oughts to kill all the gators. They make a mighty fine stew and nice shoes too yawl.
  • This is Sweet!
    > I been doin that for 20 year. You just figgerin that now?
    > Ist about time zat ve blamed Carter. Ve ran out of Clinton a long time ago!
    > Carl, we never run out of blame for Clinton. He is omnipotent and responsible for all bad things. Just like Satan.

    Our illustrious president is omnipotent and responsible for all things good, like our lord and savior Jesus Christ.

    Carter is like some kind of imp. He can make michief, upon the devil's request, but he has no real power.
    > Jah, Herr McWhite, you have der pointen. Carter ist just shitting around, building houses und shtuff...he's no t'reat.
  • How do you say rude in Mexican?
    > We need The Poodle through the next election cycle (ours, not his), then we're sending James Baker over to explain things to him.
    > Aw, I think Mr. Blair is cute yawl. No wonder our PResident likes to ruffle his hairdo some.
    > Vy vould he meet mit Blair? Aftair all, der Venezuelans haff been der beneficiaries of der Reich's men for zhenerations, und der Blair ist der ideological descendant of Lord Chamberlain und derefore hardly vorth ze paper he waves in der air!
  • Save The Crazy Israelis From Themselves and Other Stuff
    > What.



    I mean, right on, sister!
    > Sorry. I cain't unnerstand what that their lady is sayin with that freaky accent she got.
    > Jah, Betty Cho, but der Pamela is der Juden and derefore ve trot her out mit her large floppy lesbian breasts for der untermenschen to drool over. Dey don't pay attention to der vords she shpeaks, into vich ve haff playzed der sub-vocal text of "Der Fuhr-- errrr, der President ist allays right! Big Shmile! Big Shmile!"
    > Carl, your ass sure cracks me up. She a "Juden" alright or some other language I ain't never heard of. She sound crazy is all I know.
    > Did she say "big dick?"
  • Damn Lefty Hipocriticals!
    > Betty Cho, dere, dere, now, ve don't vant a fine upshtanding young patriot like yourself to shtress hershelf out zo...but vasn't your husband's name Billy Bob ass vell?

    Anyvay, I'm chure you'll be fine...maybe eef you taken your clodes offen...
    > Betty Jo, every time I read your lucid words, I get this strong sensation that you sound just like Britney Spears. And, you are just as smart.
    > Don't be so sure ... Dominos has been home to quite a few terrorists ...
    > Awww, richie! Thanks. I never thought I'd ever be as smart as a big star like Britney. That really makes Betty Jo's day yawl.
    > Carl, my hubby is dead to me now since he went and joined the Minutemaids. So I ain't even gone comment on what his damn name was! Sheesh.
    > Mein apolojeez, betty Cho...ist dat vy you let me shleep over der last time ve...."met"?
    > Awww, I cain't remember thet kinda stuff after a bottle of Southern Comfert, Carl!
  • Dear Leader in Trouble
    > Mexican polling services?
    > I don't believe a god-danged thing that Raw Sewage says. I think the actually numbers are more like 79% with a margin of error of + 21%.

    Get in line, pigs!
    > Mexicans! I'm calling Hayden right now - he'll get to the bottom of this!
    > Dere ist gut news for Bush in dis poll!

    He rates 41% vich is higher den his approval ratings! HOORAY!!!!!!!
    > NOW, THAT'S A GODDAMM LIE! Oh this makes Betty Jo mad, and I don't like to be mad yawl.

    Someone prolly asked the question wrong or somethin. There ain't no way this can be true.

    I'm gone go down to the Trader's Joe now and kick me some mofo libruals so's I can feel better.
    > Vy isn't dere leeberal media covering DIS shtory dat affects der vite race????

    Morgellon's dishease
  • Another Demo-Liberal Witch Hunt
    > Dot guy ist der daffynishun of ein troo Amerikkkan, vun who does hist chob no matter der odds against him, even iff he ist in prison!
    > We had to cut him loose when he didn't toe the immigration line ...
    > He's just doin' what our prez-a-dent does. He don't have to hire people that are capable, just people he likes to hang out with cause they tell him everything he does is so good.

    Why is that a silly old crime?
    > He should just pardon himself and then start hunting down all those traitors in the state and putting them in jail.
    > Why cain't they just leave taht poor, sweet man alone? Why are them libruals so vitious? I tells you, them mofo libruals ruint everything in this fine nation.
    > Is there any way we can nominate this guy for a Nobel Prize? Someone call Sean Hannity.
    > At least President Bush should give him a medal yawl.
  • It's called a coincidence, you liberal morons!
    > Herr looking like der barber from der Anday Griffits Zhow...dat's gud enough for me, dat he looks like a zelebrity, jah!
    > Shit happens ... we can barely keep the schedules out of the garbage cans!
    > Coincidence is the trademark of this Whitehouse. This guy is like whitebread, from the top of his Rogain infused head down to his Snuggle Soft white socks.
    > Um...yeah...

    It's a coincidence.

    Perhaps you can point out somewhere in my article which said anything but that.

    The coincidence is noteworthy. Is it not?
    > The coincidence is the whole point, Ron, you whiny liberal "Gotcha Journalist!" How dare you slime this site with your slimy liberal slime?

    > Ein liebensraum....haxcuse me, leeberal zhournaleest!!!!

    Shtring heem up, Herr McWhite!
    > If you can't give jobs to friends then what's the purpose of being able to give jobs? Who should have gotten the job - some defeatist traitor?
    > Buy levitra online

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  • A Letter From Mahmoud ...
    > Lol thats funny as hell. but seriously. I think this letter is probably a legitimate and honest attempts to open dialogue. Of course Bush doesnt benefit from civil discourse so.... we'll see where this goes.
    > Of course Bush doesnt benefit from civil discourse so.... we'll see where this goes.

    Please, PNAC and all of us have already invested so much in the war plan for Iran ... might as well use it!
    > That's pretty good English writing for an unmerkan.
    > Mein vondering vy dis ledder zounds like it been wretten by 16 year old fraulein...a juden vun, too...
    > Who let that left of center guy in here, he's fowling up the place...
    > I cain't beleive anyone with half a sense would talk to Our Dear President like that. That man need to get him some manners, else we'll be blowin him off the face of the earth, you just wait and see.

    The nerve of some islamofascist types. Makes me want to go kick a homeless.
    > I'm sure our leader will simply reply, bring 'em on. He does that with such manliness and all. Then he'll probably go fishing on his lake.
    > Jah, PoP, he ist trooly a manly man und his lake must be der biggest lake in Texass, since he grows der perch such large dat dere "leeberals" make fun of der feesh!
    > Most offensive of all, he accused President Bush of being a bad Christian? But how can that be? President Bush talks to Christ every day!
    > Did you guys ever wonder if maybe God is a prankster who pits religious people against each other in wars and such just for funsies?

    No, of course not. Me, neither.
    > I'm spreading my own special brand of bird flu. (fouling up the place)
    > Lost Verses of the Koran

    Surah 115: The Pig


    The hurried flight of the Hegira had led the Muslims to a fertile oasis, where they were at last safe from their many enemies in Mecca.
    Pausing, each thanked Allah the moon-god for their good fortune.
    Assembling at a long table, they enjoyed rare delicacies brought by bare-breasted sirens whose faces were veiled. During the feast Muhammad sternly forbade his disciples to partake of pig flesh, while fondling the youthful breasts of a Nubian girl named Sheba.
    Obeying the Prophet, the pilgrims partook of the succulent flesh of jackals and vultures, washing their food down with strong wine.
    ?I never dreamed I?d have to eat the loins of a jackal, let alone the bitter entrails of a cursed vulture,? observed a hungry pilgrim named Ahmed to a fellow Muslim, choking on the unpalatable morsels.
    ?Neither did I, but the Holy Prophet has ordered it,? grumbled another starving follower, almost heaving as he consumed greasy vulture flesh.
    ?A rancid pork chop would taste a hell of a lot better than this crap does,? retorted Ahmed.
    ?It?s an acquired taste brother, you?ll get used to it,? spoke up another, smiling with a mouthful of rotten teeth.
    ?I don?t think so,? said Ahmed, forcing down a burned jackal testicle.
    An uncaring Muhammad, famished, greedily wolfed down roasted jackal in enjoyment, quaffing from an earthenware wine carafe on occasion, while choosing which of the sirens that would soon endure his favors.
    The meal finished in the late afternoon, a drunken, lustful Muhammad initiated a sex orgy with the sirens, the debauched Holy Prophet, Allah speaking through him, declaring all earlier betrothals or marriages of the women he knew null and void.
    The Muslims celebrated their good fortune, again thanking Allah for the bounty they had been blessed to receive.
    Later, as Muhammad sat half-naked under a palm tree, masturbating to the thought of molesting little girls, Ahmed chanced by and remarked, "Oh great prophet, why does Allah say that we cannot dine on delicious porcine flesh?"
    "Why?" asked Muhammad, closing his filthy, tattered, moth-eaten robe, "Because Allah's younger retarded cyclops brother is a pig, and Allah doesn't want us killing his holy kinfolk."
    "Allah is a pig?" asked Ahmed, staring at Muhammad.
    "Of course," replied the deranged Prophet, hallucinating thanks to ingesting strong hashish minutes earlier.
    "That's ridiculous, why in hell do we worship pigs?" asked Ahmed, thinking his flight from Mecca may have been the result of heeding the words of a false prophet, possessed of a capricious desert demon who delighted in seeing them consume the flesh of vermin.
    "Because they're better than we are," answered a smiling Muhammad, now fantasizing about raping little boys, "Look at me, I'm little more than a lecherous child molester, thief and murderer!"
    "True, but pigs can't even talk!" exclaimed Ahmed, digging a heel into the sand.
    "Allah can, he speaks to me in my dreams," retorted the wildly hallucinating Muhammad, barely able to focus on Ahmed, seeing him in double vision.
    "You're a madman," declared a disgusted Ahmed, "I'm heading back to join the infidels in Mecca!"
    "Who cares?" retorted Muhammad, slurring his words and breaking into riotous laughter.
    Prophet Muhammad, opening his robe and again reaching for his flaccid sex organ, was too occupied with masturbating his building erection to reply further, while Ahmed disappeared behind a sand dune.
    "What a stupid, perverted, licentious bastard," spat Ahmed, walking off, "Muhammad is crazier than a shithouse rat!"

    Surah 116: The Pervert


    And it came to pass that Muhammad was growing ever hornier and more depraved: In a dream it was revealed by Allah that he was to molest a young girl named Ayesha.
    Drunk on strong wine, the Prophet looked to a follower named Khalil and announced, ?Allah has said I am to have sex on this day with a child; the virgin daughter of my brother in law Abu.?
    ?What?? asked a frowning Khalil, holding a wine bottle, taken back by the remark and turning to Muhammad.
    ?I am to know Abu?s daughter Ayesha,? declared Muhammad, a finger in the air, becoming visibly aroused at the thought having sex with her.
    ?She is but a little girl who plays with dolls; her womb does not yet weep, are you insane?? asked Khalil, knowing in his heart that the Prophet was little more than a pervert, thief, liar and murderer.
    ?Probably, but it is the will of Allah?, Muhammad said to himself, staggering off to the hovel of Ayesha.
    ?What a twisted devil the Prophet is ? the will of Allah my ass, he?s just an evil, depraved monster who lusts after the flesh,? Khalil mumbled, putting the bottle to his parched lips.
    An oblivious and uncaring Muhammad blundered down the street, weaving as he went, arriving at the hovel shortly thereafter.
    Knocking on the door, Ayesha?s mother Umm appeared.
    ?What do you want Prophet?? she asked, staring at the debauched Muhammad, clad in a filthy tan robe covered in dust and wine stains, a lone flea crawling upon his moustache near his nostrils.
    ?Bismillah, I am here to take your daughter Ayesha in bed,? the Prophet answered, slurring his words.
    ?You licentious beast!? exclaimed the girl?s mother, ?She is only six years old, if it is indeed the will of Allah, take me instead to satisfy your wanton depravity!?
    ?Taking you is not the will of Allah,? retorted Muhammad, the scent of wine heavy on his foul breath, ?You are a wrinkled and faded flower without comeliness; be gone with your favors; I could never get a hard on at the likes of you.?
    Enraged by her rebuff, Muhammad smote her upon the face with a backhand.
    ?That?s what one gets for disobeying the will of Allah,? declared Muhammad, his words punctuated by a loud belch, ?Take me to Ayesha, that I may know her on this day!?
    Obeying, Umm reluctantly led Muhammad to the room of Ayesha, opening the door.
    ?This perverted Prophet here wants to screw you,? announced Umm with a frown, Muhammad ogling the virgin child in double vision.
    ?But you knew my cousin Abdullah, younger brother of Ahmed not an hour ago,? replied a shocked Ayesha, dropping her doll, revolted by the sight of the filthy, lascivious pedophile Muhammad.
    ?Be that as it may, Allah has said I will also know you,? said Muhammad with an expectant smile, the gleam of lust in his eyes.
    ?Why me?? asked Ayesha, looking to the Prophet with trepidation.
    ?Because Allah has said it and I am horny, let us lay down, that I may know you,? ordered Muhammad as he removed his robe, Ayesha?s mother shaking her head in helpless disgust and closing the door.

    Surah 117: The Murderer


    Muhammad and his followers enjoyed many days away from Mecca at the oasis, home of his oafish brother in law, Abu Bakr, who was also Muslim.
    Dining on roast jackal, vultures and snakes, their strength was renewed by the bounty Allah the moon-god provided: plentiful food for their bellies and plentiful sirens for their carnal pleasure.
    Khalil was upset that the Prophet was an evil lecherous pedophile who had known a little girl, so he went to the home of Ayesha to speak with her father, Abu the oaf.
    He made his way to the hovel, and knocked on the door.
    Ayesha?s mother opened the door, frowning as she beheld another of Prophet Muhammad?s followers.
    ?Is life not bad enough, what are you here for, to rape my daughter, me, or one of my sons?? she inquired with disdain.
    ?Indeed not woman, I must speak with your husband, not you,? said Khalil, who as a good Muslim, looked down upon women as little more than objects of pleasure, or dogs to be beaten into submission.
    ?My husband Abu is very drunk,? she related, lowering her gaze in respect.
    Khalil entering the hovel, the oaf Abu appeared from a side room holding a wine bottle, and slurred, ?What do want here, follower of the Prophet??
    ?I must speak with you regarding your little daughter Ayesha,? answered Khalil.
    ?What about her?? asked Abu, blinking his eyes and trying to focus on the man.
    ?The Prophet came unto her in her room a fortnight ago; do you not know?? asked Khalil.
    ?He has come unto her many times since, she is his wife,? replied the unconcerned oaf.
    ?His wife you say - you permitted it?? asked Khalil, stunned by the revelation.
    ?Of course; he has come unto one of my nephews too, Muhammad is a pederast, it is the will of Allah,? declared a shrugging Abu.
    ?He?s raping our child you drunken bastard!? exclaimed a tearful Umm, looking to Khalil.
    Abu smote her across the face, admonishing, ?Take care woman, speak not ill of Prophet Muhammad, it is the will of Allah. The Prophet first knew Ayesha in a dream, when Gabriel showed her to him, uncovering her body for him to see.?
    ?That?s really sick, she?s only six years old,? observed Khalil.
    ?Better for the great Prophet to know her than one of the infidels,? declared a smiling Abu.
    ?Prophet my ass, Muhammad is a depraved monster possessed of a demon; how could permit such a thing, you are her father!? exclaimed Khalil in utter disgust.
    ?Yes I am, and the Prophet says I will know her too,? confessed Abu, contemplating the odd thought of having sex with his own daughter.
    Umm burst into tears and sobbed, throwing herself to the floor upon hearing Abu?s repugnant words.
    A fearful Khalil fled the hovel, not knowing what to think; realizing Muhammad and his brother in law Abu were wicked licentious perverts and vicious rapers of children, possessed of capricious and malevolent demons.
    Later, Abu spoke with the Prophet while they entered a brothel together. He told him of the strange encounter with Khalil.
    Khalil?s an idiot, he takes Islam much too seriously,? replied Muhammad, looking to his oafish brother in law.
    ?It is a bad omen Prophet, Khalil woefully disdains your marriage to Ayesha, and disdains that I am to know her too,? declared Abu, even he feeling deep down that such a liaison was distasteful, but knowing it was the unalterable will of Allah, the moon god.
    ?It is the will of Allah for you to know your daughter, did not Lot of Sodom know his daughters in the cave?? asked a slurring Muhammad, quite drunk, leaning against a wall to steady himself.
    ?Yes Prophet, he did,? answered Abu with firm resolve.
    ?Indeed, it was and is Allah?s will,? replied Muhammad, picking a flea from his beard and crushing it between his fingernails, ?As for our problem, I will have a dream tonight, and Allah will order me to kill Khalil.?
    ?He will?? asked Abu, putting a hand to his chin in confusion, ?But I thought the Perfect, Most Merciful Pig Allah never revealed his intentions until you had a dream.?
    ?No matter oaf, he is making his will known to me by making me drink strong wine on this day,? said a quickly lying Muhammad, holding up a bottle.
    ?Don?t you drink strong wine everyday?? asked Abu.
    ?Not as strong as this stuff,? replied the Prophet with a broad smile, ?It has hashish oil in it; let us partake of a pair of this brothel?s women and enjoy wine together.?
    As Muhammad and Abu descended into more revelry and debauchery, a troubled Khalil approached another of the Prophet?s followers, the one with rotten teeth. Telling him of his woes, he awaited the reply.
    ?Who cares what he does, have vulture and some wine,? said the man, tearing a leg from a roasted, maggot-ridden carcass and offering it to Khalil.
    ?You don?t care that Muhammad is a deranged pervert who has sex with little children?? asked Khalil, taking the leg.
    ?Hell no, I?m only here for the food, I was starving in the alleys of Mecca before I met Muhammad,? replied the rotten toothed man, grabbing more vulture flesh and a wine bottle.
    ?Oh,? answered a defeated Khalil, taking a bite from the leg and reaching for wine.
    Late evening came, with Khalil and the other followers drunk and passed out in their tent.
    Muhammad and Abu awoke at the brothel after midnight, rested and refreshed.
    ?What are we to do about Khalil?? asked Abu as they left via a side door, avoiding an encounter with the brothel?s madam, to whom they owed money.
    ?Leave that to me oaf,? answered the Prophet, holding up a hand, ?In my dream Allah told me how to deal with him.?
    Muhammad headed down the street and stealthily entered the tent of his followers, intent on taking Khalil?s life. Abu Bakr followed him through the entrance, looking about for possible witnesses.
    Holding an oiled leather garrote, the smiling Prophet mercilessly strangled the sleeping Khalil, knowing in his heart that it was the will of Allah.
    The helpless follower struggled defiantly as a determined Muhammad gritted his teeth and pulled the garrote tighter, crushing Khalil?s windpipe, the Prophet letting out foul gas from his posterior due to the exertion. The struggling ceased; he and Abu then quietly removed the body from the tent and carried it into the desert.
    ?That takes care of that problem,? declared a satisfied Muhammad as he pocketed the garrote, he and Abu making their way to his hovel so he could know his young wife Ayesha again.
    ?When will I know her Prophet?? inquired Abu in the lamplit hovel, looking to his daughter?s room.
    ?Very soon, Allah has said it, go know your wife Umm for now, oaf,? suggested Muhammad with a smile, opening the door to Ayesha?s room.

    Surah 118: The Liar


    Time passed, and a strengthened Muhammad and his followers left the fertile oasis. The Prophet was joined by his young wife Ayesha and her father, oaf Abu, who left the remainder of his family stranded at the oasis, his wife Umm dying of grief shortly afterward.
    Not one of the party dared question the vanishing of Khalil, some fearing that they too would vanish, perhaps due to Allah?s will or worse.
    Muhammad told his followers that Khalil was an evil infidel, and had fled because he had coveted Ayesha, the child looking to her husband the Prophet, she and her father knowing he was not telling the truth.
    ?That is not true my father, Khalil only came to tell you of the Prophet knowing me,? Ayesha whispered, she and Abu standing only a few cubits from Muhammad.
    ?Take care in what you utter among others child, some things are better kept to oneself,? answered Abu quietly, not half the oaf the Prophet thought he was.
    The rotten toothed man was listening intently; he had watched from the shadows while a smiling Muhammad strangled Khalil, but wisely kept this knowledge to himself, vowing to flee the group at the earliest opportunity.
    Abu Bakr, fulfilling the will of Allah, came unto his daughter Ayesha over several evenings in a tent at the beckoning of the Holy Prophet, oddly finding her favors more satisfying than those of his wife.
    Feeling strange from the experience of knowing his own daughter, a troubled Abu sought wise Muhammad?s advice.
    ?It was the will of Allah,? declared the debauched Muhammad, drunk on strong wine, ?Allah has also revealed it is you which will sire her firstborn in her twelfth year; her incestuous bastard child Fatimah.?
    ?I will?? asked Abu, incredulous that he would be siring a child by his own daughter.
    ?Yes,? replied the Prophet, removing his filthy robe, ?But first I must satisfy my carnal urges, by indulging in her favors myself.?
    Prophet Muhammad entered the tent and came unto the young Ayesha, who complained that she was sore from knowing her father three times in one day.
    Striking her across the face, Muhammad admonished, ?Keep your mouth shut wife and be thankful to Allah that only I and your father are knowing you.?
    ?Yes Holy Prophet,? Ayesha replied, closing her eyes and wincing in pain as Muhammad again knew her.
    Arriving in Medina the following week, the Muslims found friends in this city, delighting in drunken revelry and the favors of veiled, tempting harlots with dark eyes.
    A lecherous Muhammad, Ayesha and his brother in law Abu took up residence at a fine brothel, the Prophet and the oaf sampling the offerings over many weeks, finding that Medina had the finest of all harlots in the land.
    Many residents of Medina found that Islam was a faith that appealed to them, Allah?s unalterable will moving the people, they abandoning their staid ways, joining with Prophet Muhammad in idleness, licentious revelry and drunkenness.
    Abu later visited the Prophet in his tent, informing him of dreadful news that Medina was host to a band of Jews.
    ?Jews you say, the people of the book,? answered Muhammad, ?They are bitter enemies of Allah and Islam; we will not suffer such people to live in our midst.?
    ?But there are 40 score or more of them in the city Prophet, do the warriors of Allah have the numbers to defeat them?? asked Abu.
    ?Of course oaf,? declared the evil Muhammad, ?We shall wait until the dark of night, prowling by stealth, and then cut their throats as they slumber; Allah has willed it.?
    Listening in the shadows, the rotten toothed man determined it was time for him to flee. Regardless of the free food, he wanted no part of a group of vicious, skulking cowards who would slaughter people as they slept.
    Allah?s will was fulfilled on the next night, 40 score Jews meeting their end at the hands of the deranged, murderous pedophile Muhammad and his obedient Muslims.

    Surah 119: The Thief


    A fortnight passed, with many of the remaining people of Medina embracing Islam, and others fleeing for their lives, with the exception of a wealthy merchant named Sabri and his family.
    Sabri vexed the followers with his words that Prophet Muhammad was little more than a drunken liar, murderer, and wanton sexual pervert; a wicked, lascivious monster and pedophile who kept the company of prostitutes, drunks and the slothful.
    In another dream, the Holy Prophet learned that the vexing merchant had to be silenced, and that he had been chosen by Allah to murder him.
    Telling Abu of his dream, he and Abu plotted the murder of Sabri the merchant. After enjoying strong wine together, they headed to his home on a dark late evening, let in by a lovely servant girl.
    Muhammad and the oaf Abu observed the opulence of his residence; Sabri dressed in a fine silk robe with a silk turban, seven rings of gold and silver on his fingers.
    His wife and the lovely servant girl brought food and a carafe of wine for her husband, they disdainfully looking upon the filthy, debauched Prophet and his henchman Abu.
    ?Why will you not submit to Islam, it is the will of Allah,? declared the evil Muhammad, looking to Sabri, looking for the chance to end his life.
    ?The will of Allah my ass, you Muhammad are a murderous debauched lecher and raper of children. Your loathsome followers feed on the rancid flesh of vermin instead of fine pork roasts, and defile all that they touch,? declared a disgusted Sabri, noting that the Prophet was drunk, dressed in a filthy tattered robe, with his unkempt hair and long beard matted with dirt.
    ?I consume the flesh of vermin too, Great Allah is a Holy, Merciful Pig, it is not halal to dine on the sacred flesh of his younger brothers,? said Muhammad with a finger in the air, Abu nodding in agreement.
    ?No, it is you who are a pig, you deranged cretin possessed of a vile demon,? retorted Sabri, looking upon the Prophet with hatred in his eyes.
    ?Those who do not submit to the will of Allah will suffer dire consequences,? threatened Abu, looking about for anyone who would dare stop them. Observing only two women in the house, he smiled, knowing that the will of Allah was about to be fulfilled.
    Sabri paused, staring at the Prophet and Abu in contempt, hoping he could in some way persuade them to leave the city, noting that business had fallen off to practically nothing since the arrival of the Muslims.
    ?Look, if I give you money, will you and yours flee Medina and never return?? asked Sabri with folded hands, hoping he could encourage them to leave with a payment of fine gold.
    ?I can?t leave,? declared a smiling Muhammad, ?I am serving Great Allah, the Most Merciful Pig.?
    Sabri, confused for a moment, replied, ?But I thought Allah was the moon goddess of Mecca.?
    ?Whatever,? retorted a shrugging, uncaring Muhammad while picking his nose, he knowing that Allah didn?t exist anyway.
    ?You are destroying Medina with your vile harlotry and wicked ways!? exclaimed Sabri.
    The Prophet laughed, and replied, ?Indeed not, Allah is guiding my hand in this and all my actions, providing me and my followers with what we desire: food, fine drink and the company of willing sirens, like your lovely servant girl back there.?
    ?My servant girl is betrothed to a good man in Mecca, you will not speak ill of her, nor will you covet her favors,? declared Sabri, noting Muhammad leering through an open door, ogling the girl and his wife.
    ?I will do as I wish,? retorted the evil Muhammad with another laugh, reaching into his tattered, filthy robe and producing the garrote, ?I covet the favors of your servant girl, and will take her to my bed for a concubine on this night. Those such as you will not stop the will of Allah or his Messenger.?
    Abu rose while the Prophet was speaking and smote Sabri upon the face with a closed fist, knocking the silk turban from his head. Muhammad descended upon him like a viper, pulling the garrote tightly around his throat, strangling him in his chair while his wife and servant girl screamed.
    ?Be silent women, it is the will of Allah!? Muhammad yelled through gritted teeth as he took the life of Sabri. Oaf Abu moved into the room and beat them into submission while a struggling Sabri kicked the wine carafe from the table, it shattering on the floor.
    Sabri?s life vanquished, Prophet Muhammad exhaled loudly and let the lifeless body tumble to the floor.
    The trembling women remained silent as Abu returned to the Prophet with them.
    ?Where is your money?? asked a greedy Abu of Sabri?s wife.
    ?A box of gold and silver is in our bedroom,? answered his tearful wife, almost fainting from Abu?s foul breath.
    ?I?ll get it,? volunteered a smiling Muhammad, pulling the garrote from the body, ?Get the rings from his fingers oaf.?
    The Prophet returned with a box of glittering coins, pleased that Allah had provided such bounty for his followers.
    ?I can?t get the last ring off,? complained Abu, having pocketed six others.
    ?Cut off his finger to get it, and take his robe and turban too,? ordered Muhammad, determined not to leave one valuable item in the house.
    Abu obeyed, reaching for a knife on the table, slicing off the finger and pulling the ring from it.
    Arriving at the brothel, the Prophet celebrated his good fortune by knowing Sabri?s wife and the servant girl, annulling the widow?s marriage and the girl?s betrothal in the eyes of Allah.
    Later that evening Abu was given Sabri?s widow for a concubine, as he had grown weary of Ayesha?s favors, also needing an able slave to cook and serve him.
    Having to beat her before he knew her, Abu thanked Allah and Muhammad for the welcome gift of Sabri?s wife.

    Surah 120: The Hypocrite


    More time passed, with some of Muhammad?s followers finding the Prophet?s actions in Medina going against everything he had preached in Mecca, seeing him as Khalil, the rotten toothed man, and the merchant Sabri had seen him: an evil, debauched rapist, pedophile, liar, and murderer.
    These and other apostate followers were quickly slaughtered as infidels, fulfilling the will of Allah; a smiling Muhammad strangling many of them as they slept.
    Even Abu began to think that Muhammad?s wanton depravity may have been going too far when he encountered him in a tent knowing several young Jewish boys that had been taken captive.
    ?Prophet, some of the followers are complaining that you are denying them participation in the bounty given us by Allah, and that you are also practicing strange acts that Allah has forbidden to others,? related Abu, frowning at the displeasing thought of Muhammad knowing little boys.
    ?They want some of the gold, right oaf?? asked a drunken Muhammad, dressed in Sabri?s silk robe and turban, seven rings of gold and silver upon his greasy fingers, the fine garb growing filthier with each passing day.
    ?That, and some of them would also like to have some of the girls and boys for concubines,? answered Abu.
    ?They cannot have the little boys, Allah has given them to me for my carnal pleasure,? declared the lascivious Prophet, ?As for the little girls, give them to the followers as wives, so that their carnal desires can be sated; it is the will of Allah.?
    ?Others say that you don?t practice what you have preached,? added a fidgeting Abu, hoping not to arouse Muhammad?s maniacal wrath.
    ?I?m only the messenger, Allah?s revelations don?t apply to me,? retorted Muhammad, releasing a tearful Jewish boy from his carnal embrace.
    ?What about me?? asked Abu.
    ?They don?t apply to you either oaf; would you like a lovely little boy for your carnal pleasure?? slurred the depraved sodomite Muhammad, lustfully leering at another boy he had chosen next to debauch.
    ?No, I find not that boys appeal to me,? answered Abu quietly, though he was a lecherous pedophile and incestuous pervert, he had no desire to sodomize little boys.
    ?Suit yourself oaf, more for me to enjoy,? answered the Prophet with a chuckle, undressing another captive boy, returning to his lecherous pederasty as Abu left the tent.
    The city of Medina had been taken completely by the conquering Muslims, they reveling in their murderous victory over the infidels and Jews.
    In another dream, it was revealed to Muhammad by Allah that they were to attack and conquer the city of Mecca. They were to subdue it and convert the inhabitants there to Islam, after which the Prophet was to take a pagan shrine called the Kaaba and defile it in the name of Allah.
    ?In Mecca there is glittering plunder, fine gold to steal, and many women to be taken for concubines,? declared the Prophet, ?Allah has said to have faith in him and we will not fail; are you with me, warriors for Islam??
    The devoted followers answered, shouting in unison: There is no god but Allah the Pig, and Muhammad is his prophet!?
    ?We will need weapons to defeat them,? Abu observed, looking to the Holy Prophet.
    ?Easily done oaf,? replied an unconcerned Muhammad, ordering several henchmen to plunder the city of metal so weapons could be quickly fashioned.
    Bronze implements were seized from every home; plowshares were heated and beaten into fine scimitars for the devoted followers.
    As his followers labored over hot forges, Muhammad gave a sermon, declaring that vengeance, blood and death would rain down upon Mecca in the name of Allah.
    The work completed over several days, a feast was held by the warriors of Islam to further strengthen them for the long journey; the flesh of rats, snakes, vultures and jackals gracing their tables. The hungry Prophet had a willing siren prepare his favorite of all dishes, fat dung beetles boiled in seasoned vulture broth.
    ?We should give Allah our thanks for the bounty he has provided,? declared Muhammad, seated at the head of his table beside Abu, crushing the hard shell of a dung beetle between his filthy brown teeth.
    All bowed their heads in prayer, thanking Allah for the food he had provided.
    ?Would you like to enjoy a tasty dung beetle oaf?? asked the Prophet, turning to his brother in law, offering one to him.
    ?No thanks,? replied a nauseated Abu, choking down a plateful of greasy rat flesh.
    Washing the unseemly morsels down with strong wine, Muhammad and his followers filled their bellies with the bitter flesh of vermin and then enjoyed the welcome favors of tempting, veiled harlots with dark eyes.
    The Muslims, their women and their captives set out for Mecca on the following week, determined to exact Allah?s revenge on the people who dwelt there.
    ?There are many able men in Mecca, much more than we have,? observed Abu, realizing their numbers were wanting when compared to the teeming hordes of infidels occupying Mecca.
    ?Allah will watch over us oaf,? replied Muhammad, a sharp scimitar on his hip, he unsure as to what the outcome would be, but keeping this from the others and preparing for the worst.
    ?There aren?t enough of us Prophet ? how will we win?? asked Abu with his arms in the air, looking at their limited numbers, no more than 50 score of able men in the service of Allah.
    ?Great Allah has said it, they in Mecca will embrace Islam or die for resisting his will,? the vengeful Prophet declared as Medina disappeared behind them in the distance.
    A thoughtful Abu wondered why Allah would wish his followers to attack a fortified city where they were outnumbered, and also as to why Allah would have chosen a debauched murderer and licentious pervert for his Prophet.
    ?Oh well, it is the will of Allah,? agreed a sardonic Abu, much too committed to the deranged Prophet and Islam to back out, checking for the scimitar on his hip.

    Surah 121: The Coward


    Returning to the oasis to gather strength before attacking Mecca, Muhammad and his followers again feasted on the bitter flesh of vermin and partook of the favors of eager women, the depraved Prophet coming unto the veiled, bare breasted Nubian harlot Sheba.
    Oaf Abu learned that his wife Umm had died, Muhammad stating to him over strong wine that it was Allah?s will.
    A grieving Abu came unto his new wife, the widow of Sabri, and also knew his daughter Ayesha, fulfilling the will of Allah the Pig.
    The Holy Prophet also lusted for Abu?s bride, demanding that he be permitted to lay with her again.
    A shrugging Abu handed her over, an angry Muhammad having to beat the stiff-necked infidel woman once again before he knew her.
    ?You evil murderous beast!? she screamed in tears as Muhammad was knowing her, ?May the gods of my fathers destroy you and all you have wrought!?
    ?How dare you attempt to curse me or Allah,? grunted the Prophet as he reached orgasm, his fetid breath causing her to heave, ?Take care woman, or I will expose you as the sorceress you are, giving you over to be stoned by my devoted followers.?
    ?Better to be dead than to endure your vile attentions again,? Abu?s wife retorted as the Prophet rose from her bed.
    ?Bitch,? Muhammad muttered as he left Abu?s tent, adjusting his filthy silk turban.
    Leaving the oasis on the third day, the devoted Muslims resumed their journey to Mecca, Abu still troubled about their limited numbers and telling the Holy Prophet of his doubts.
    ?Don?t worry oaf, we will remain behind while the first wave of our brothers besiege and subdue the infidels in Mecca,? Muhammad declared in a low tone of voice, Ayesha looking up to him and frowning.
    ?Do you have a problem with that wife?? asked Muhammad, strangely controlling his compulsion to beat her for daring to disagree with Allah?s unalterable will.
    Ayesha remained silent and looked to the ground, Abu answering, ?I thought we would lead them in battle.?
    ?No, we are to remain behind and observe the followers take the city, it is the will of Allah,? replied Muhammad, he filled with doubts and preferring to watch from afar, as the strong hashish he had eaten in Medina had worn off long ago.
    Arriving outside the city walls under cover of night, the Muslims prepared for battle in the only way they knew: skulking by stealth and murdering defenseless people while they slept.
    As a full moon rose, a vanguard of devoted followers scaled the city walls, only to be discovered and cut down by the defenders of Mecca.
    ?Attack in the name of Allah!? shouted Muhammad while retreating to a bluff with Abu, his wives and several trusted followers, the Meccans opening the city gates to meet the glorious warriors of Allah in battle.
    Seeing the Holy Prophet on the bluff by moonlight, this sight strengthened the attacking Muslims.
    ?The battle is not going very well,? observed Abu as the moon rose higher, watching the Muslim army being wiped out.
    ?Yes, Allah is displeased that our faith was not strong enough,? replied a strangely detached Muhammad, staring from the bluff at the carnage outside the walls of Mecca.
    ?That, or we didn?t have enough men, I told you,? retorted Abu, watching several followers being hacked to death by the defenders.
    ?That is possible oaf,? admitted Muhammad, Abu frowning at the reply.
    ?What do you plan to do to save your followers Prophet?? asked Ayesha.
    ?Nothing, it is Allah?s will,? replied Muhammad with a shrug, still watching the battle.
    Abu?s frown grew into anger as he watched a smiling Muhammad delight in the butchery of his followers.
    ?You?ve lost at least 30 score since the moon rose, do you intend to stay until we are slaughtered too?? asked Abu?s wife.
    ?How dare you speak to me unless spoken to!? exclaimed the Prophet, preparing to smite her across the face.
    ?My good wife Fahimah makes a wise observation,? declared Abu, using her given name for the first time, grasping Muhammad?s forearm, preventing him from striking the widow.
    Pulling away from Abu, the Prophet paused and replied, ?It?s time for us to leave oaf, we shall retreat to the oasis to pray and fast.?
    A defeated Muhammad and his trusted followers left the bluff and headed back toward the oasis in the moonlight. Looking over his shoulder, the Prophet feared that vengeful Meccans might pursue them.
    ?Let us make haste,? declared Muhammad, fearing for his life.
    Several days passed as they retreated from Mecca, the remaining band of Muslims at last pausing for needed rest and making a camp in the desert.
    The captive Fahimah had grown to respect her new husband Abu, as he had prevented the Holy Prophet from striking her outside the walls of Mecca. Making him a meal of jackal flesh soup, she presented it to him in his tent.
    ?Thank you woman,? Abu replied, taking an earthenware bowl and strong wine, she nodding and leaving him to eat.
    As Abu was eating, a stir rose in the camp: a lone survivor of the battle having at last caught up to the followers. Putting down his bowl, he left the tent to find the survivor admonishing Muhammad.
    ?You coward,? he gasped, ?You left us to die, have you no faith in your visions, or are they only lies coming from your vile mouth??
    The Prophet, drunk, answered, ?I had a dream after the battle, it was Allah?s will that we were defeated, as it was his will that you survived. We lost because our faith in Allah was not strong enough.?
    ?You lied, telling us of easy plunder and women; there weren?t enough of us to take Mecca, 50 score died outside the gates for nothing!? the man exclaimed.
    ?No matter, have dung beetles and strong wine to renew your strength,? slurred Muhammad, picking fleas from his beard and flinging them into a small fire at his side.
    The man, much too exhausted to argue further, gratefully took a plate of boiled dung beetles and a bottle of wine, trudging off from the deranged Prophet in disgust.
    A shocked Abu observed this from the shadows and retreated to his tent. Such knowledge set heavy upon him, he meditating privately on the events.
    Finishing his meal, he called for his wife Fahimah, she appearing before him.
    I would hear your words wife on this matter: Muhammad preaches Islam, yet he does not follow the words of Allah.?
    ?He is your Prophet, you have sworn to serve him and Allah, my words are those of an infidel,? she answered respectfully.
    ?Still I would hear them, for there is wisdom in what you utter,? Abu replied.
    Fahimah, still fearful of her brutal husband, yet bound by her personal honor to obey, told him of her thoughts on the Prophet and his actions.
    ?I care not what god he worships, but this demon in man?s guise is not a prophet of a clean desert god,? she began.
    Abu looked at her as she continued, ?He forces his followers to consume the flesh of vermin, delighting in their disgust. I truly believe him to be so perverted as to rape an infant - he has others carry out his murderous work while he has no courage to fight himself: you should draw a knife across your daughter Ayesha?s throat and my own to save us from the corruption of this man.?
    Abu, oaf that he was, looked at her silently as she urged him to destroy the demon Prophet Muhammad, her wise words much harder to ignore than the screechings of his deceased wife Umm.

    Surah 122: Muhammad the Merciless


    Abu Bakr, though he had listened to the wise words of his good wife Fahimah, found the prospects of strong wine, glittering plunder and wanton sexual pleasure outweighed her foreboding admonitions; he advising her to remain silent with regard to the Holy Prophet. For this request, he agreed that he would do his best to keep the depraved Muhammad from coming unto her.
    The widow bowed her head respectfully, obeying her brutal husband.
    Staying for a time to renew their strength at the oasis, Muhammad announced over a fine evening meal that they would return to Medina and take it in the name of Allah.
    ?That will be easy, considering we slaughtered everyone there who resisted us,? slurred a drunken Abu, he, the Prophet and their closest followers sitting at a long table. Veiled, tempting sirens with bare breasts served the bounty Allah had provided: the flesh of vultures, vipers, and lizards gracing the table.
    ?Good point oaf,? the deranged Muhammad agreed, seven rings of gold and silver on his fingers, his mouth stuffed with roast vulture. He swallowed, belched loudly and added, ?Allah revealed to me in a dream that Medina will be our base, and from there we shall send brave warriors out to capture and recruit new followers.?
    ?More men will be needed after the debacle at Mecca,? replied Abu, looking to their limited numbers, choking down the bitter flesh of a fat, boiled viper with another gulp of wine.
    The evil Prophet hid a smile at the sight of Abu?s nausea; watching from the head of the table in delight as his devoted followers dined on the flesh of vermin. ?No matter about the others, they are dead and gone, it was the will of Allah,? declared an uncaring Muhammad, spitting a shard of fractured vulture bone to the table. Wiping greasy hands on his filthy silk robe, he grabbed a wine bottle and took a deep drink from it. ?My belly still rumbles, bring tasty dung beetles to sate my gnawing hunger,? he ordered to a siren nearest him.
    The lone survivor of the battle of Mecca, a swarthy Bedouin named Hamal, sat at the table, eating from an earthenware bowl of lizard soup, seasoned with ground peppercorns, onions and the juices of crushed scorpions. Having considered his low standing amongst his fellow Muslims for calling the Prophet a lying coward to his face, he wished to make amends by making himself useful to Muhammad. In return, he hoped the murderous Prophet would allow him to live, so he, like his debauched leader, would have the chance to kill, rape and plunder in the name of Pig Allah, the moon god.
    Their meal finished, a lustful, drunken Muhammad initiated another sex orgy with the sirens, the warriors of Islam delighting in the licentious revelry: the debauched Prophet entering the tent of the Nubian harlot Sheba, relieving his carnal urges while held in her willing arms.
    ?Oh great Prophet, if it is the will of Allah, will you take me as one of your beloved wives to Medina?? asked Sheba, looking up to him with seductive, dark eyes as he continued to know her.
    ?Sure, as my young bride Ayesha often grows sore from my constant attentions,? grunted Muhammad, reaching orgasm for a third time, finding her the most satisfying harlot he had ever encountered.
    ?She is only six, most wait until they bleed first,? replied Sheba, the Prophet looking at her and frowning, both knowing that he was little more than a brutal, licentious pedophile who delighted in the rape of little girls and boys. Rising from the bed and closing his robe, he left her tent, adjusting his filthy silk turban.
    Later, when others at the oasis were asleep or passed out from drunkenness, Muhammad, oaf Abu, and Hamal the Bedouin sat by a small fire, discussing plans for the recruitment of new followers. As the fire died down the Holy Prophet rose and walked into the shadows, releasing foul, pungent gas from his posterior while Abu and the Bedouin continued speaking.
    ?When will we be leaving for Medina?? asked Hamal, looking forward to visiting a comely harlot he had met there.
    ?Very soon, but you will not leave with us,? answered Abu, just as Muhammad leapt upon the hapless Bedouin with an oiled garrote. Pulling it tight around his throat with all his strength, he gritted his teeth and strangled the infidel to death, crushing his windpipe.
    ?That is what one gets for insulting Allah?s messenger,? declared the wicked Muhammad with a smile, allowing the corpse to drop to the ground. He pulled the garrote from Hamal?s throat and pocketed it in his filthy silk robe. Looking to Abu, he said, ?Get over here and help me with the body oaf.?
    Abu rose, the Prophet and his henchman carrying the remains of Hamal into the desert.
    On the next day, Abu?s young nephew Abdullah appeared from his mother?s hovel at the border of the oasis. The adolescent appeared more of a man than a boy, his face having a short beard. Troubled, he asked his uncle as to why he had left his aunt Umm to die of grief, and why he had permitted the Holy Prophet to know him and his little cousin Ayesha. Not aware of Abu?s incestuous relationship with his daughter, he awaited the answer.
    ?My daughter Ayesha is his child bride, given unto him by Gabriel on high; alas, Muhammad is also a pederast, it was the will of Allah for him to know you,? a shrugging Abu replied, revolted at the thought of pederasty, not looking his nephew in the eyes.
    ?The will of Allah? Then Allah is an evil, insidious demon possessed of lust and caprice!? exclaimed Abdullah. ?Your Prophet is a depraved sodomite sent from the depths of hell: grasping my crotch, he raped me after having a seizure, holding me down and declaring it was the will of Pig Allah!?
    ?I don?t know what to say, my nephew,? replied Abu, looking to the ground, knowing that Muhammad had truly hurt a beloved member of his family by raping him.
    ?I do,? said an angry Abdullah, tears welling in his eyes as he glared at his uncle, ?I say be gone forever from our oasis, you, your demonic Prophet, your vile brethren, and never call me your nephew again!? Wiping away tears, he turned and trudged off, a saddened Abu watching as the young man disappeared into a date grove.
    A fortnight passed; the Muslims returning to the nearly deserted city of Medina. The faithful inhabitants celebrated at the sight of Prophet Muhammad, joyously greeting his arrival with a spectacle of drunken revelry and lasciviousness. To the Prophet?s pleasure, he found the brothel was still open, the madam thankful to Allah that the brave warriors of Islam had returned unto their midst.
    After indulging in the favors of comely, dark-eyed harlots for several days, Muhammad, his wives Ayesha and Sheba, together with his entourage of slavewomen and little Jewish boys, moved into the merchant Sabri?s house. Oaf Abu and wife Fahimah accompanied them, as the residence had more than enough room.
    The body of Sabri, murdered by the Holy Prophet months earlier, lay rotting on the floor, a tearful Fahimah looking to the desiccated remains of her loving husband.
    ?Lamentations over infidels is forbidden, it is the will of Allah that such die for resisting him,? declared Muhammad, picking fat fleas from his beard and crushing them between his fingernails. Ordering other followers to remove the remains, they dragged the body from the house and dumped it in the street for all to see. Looking down, the Prophet smirked and kicked Sabri?s mummified severed finger through the open door.
    ?You soulless brigand, I am an infidel, why don?t you just kill me and put me out of my misery?? asked a defiant Fahimah, tears of grief wetting her cheeks.
    The Holy Prophet raised an arm to smite her, Abu stepping between them. ?You will not strike my good wife Fahimah, nor will you touch her in any other fashion from this point forward; there is much wisdom in her utterances regarding the likes of you,? warned Abu, staring at the Prophet with anger in his eyes.
    Muhammad lowered his arm. Hiding his fear, he frowned at his muscular henchman. ?Of course oaf,? he muttered, quickly turning and leaving the house. ?Bastard,? he spat in defeat, heading to the brothel for the favors of harlots, strong wine, and hashish.
    ?Thank you husband, for what you have said and done for me,? said Fahimah.
    ?Don?t thank me, thank your gods,? replied a confused Abu, sweat on his brow, looking to the doorway that the madman Muhammad had passed through.
    Charged by the words of the Holy Prophet, vanguards of devoted followers moved across the land surrounding Medina, converting scores to Islam in the name of Allah the Pig. Along the way, the warriors helped themselves to women, children and glittering plunder: slaughtering, torturing, raping and robbing as caravans, villages, towns and cities fell before them. Returning to Medina with fresh converts, the warriors rested, joining with their fellow Muslims in idleness, debauchery, licentious revelry and drunkenness.
    Fearful of being exposed as the coward he was, Muhammad was determined to prove he was an able leader, chosen by Allah the moon god. Together with trusted group of followers, he, Abu and a band of vicious cutthroats entered a peaceful village near Medina in the middle of the night. A guard, subdued and beaten by a pair of the Prophet?s followers, asked Muhammad, ?We have done you no harm stranger, what do you want here??
    ?We want everything,? answered a smiling Muhammad. Pulling out his garrote, he strangled the defeated infidel to death, fulfilling the will of Allah.
    Allah the Pig smiled upon the devoted followers; over time the Muslim army was strengthened to near invincibility, their numbers in Medina now amounting to over 300 score.

    Surah 123: The Demon


    Growing restless at Medina, an insane Muhammad was determined exact his revenge upon the inhabitants of Mecca, so he could capture the city in the name of Islam and defile the Kaaba in the name of Pig Allah.
    At his urging, followers created more weapons, seizing metal wherever it could be found, using captured infidels as slave laborers for the hot forges. Under the watchful eyes of brutal Muslim slavedrivers, cooking pots, utensils, plowshares and pruning hooks were heated and beaten into deadly scimitars for the warriors of Islam; those who refused to serve the warriors slaughtered, their bodies thrown into the fires of the forges.
    The once peaceful Medina had been transformed from a prosperous trading center into a filthy lair of vicious freebooters, brigands, and evil cutthroats, hungry for plunder and blood. Allied with the warriors of Islam were assorted perverts: depraved pedophiles, brutal rapists, and lascivious sodomites: comprising a revolting den of amoral, lustful, lecherous monsters who gleefully destroyed entire towns, taking the virtue of women, girls and boys at will.
    The Muslims were led by the corrupting force, Prophet Muhammad, chief pervert of Islam, otherwise known amongst his fellows as Abu al-Qasim Muhammad Ibn Abd Allah Ibn Abd al-Muttalib Ibn Hashim.
    The Holy Prophet, knowing from his vivid, epileptic dreams that his actions were the will of Allah, returned to his licentious pederasty, knowing freshly captured Jewish boys during bouts of drunkenness. At other times, strong wine having caused vile fits of vomiting in the street just outside Sabri?s house, he amused himself by eating strong hashish, molesting his young wife Ayesha afterward.
    Seeing the depravity of Muhammad, the Nubian siren Sheba felt shunned, left out of the wanton debauchery, watching in horror at his perverted, drunken orgies with little boys from a dark corner of Sabri?s house.
    ?You?re hurting me Prophet, I bleed!? cried a very young Jewish boy of eight as Muhammad knew him, his ample girth having ruptured the boy?s posterior.
    ?Vile Jew, how dare you question the will of Allah?s messenger,? retorted an angry Muhammad, slitting the boy?s throat to the spine with a sharp knife. He threw the body to the tiled floor of Sabri?s house; his filthy erection covered in blood and feces as it slipped from the murdered victim.
    Shedding painful tears while viewing the murderous sodomy, the Nubian siren also witnessed the Prophet?s brutal fits of pedophilia with young Ayesha.
    ?You ingratious bitch, how dare you cry out as I indulge in your comely favors, my knowing you is the will of Allah!? grunted Muhammad, slapping the child, finally achieving orgasm within her.
    ?Yes Holy Prophet,? replied Ayesha in tears, having turned seven that day, wiping blood from her lower lip.
    ?These terrible actions of Muhammad are not the work of Allah, nor any other god; they are truly the evil ministrations of a vile and sadistic demon,? Sheba said to herself, withdrawing into the shadows.
    Troubled, she approached Fahimah one evening and told her of her woes.
    ?You made your bed painted harlot, lay in it,? the widow retorted while cooking a pot of viper stew, not wanting to arouse the Prophet?s maniacal wrath. The house had grown filthy on the orders of Muhammad, it revealed to him in a dream that cleaning it was not the will of Allah.
    ?But what of you, how did you come to be here in this hell on Earth?? asked Sheba, surrounded by iridescent flies, filth and the butchered bones of vermin, not knowing how the upright woman had become part of a band of depraved brigands led by a demented, demon possessed maniac.
    ?Your disgusting Prophet murdered my good husband Sabri in this very house in which you stand. He took our money, raped me and my maidservant, and then gave me to his brother in law Abu as his wife.?
    ?As for Muhammad being my Prophet, I cannot be sure from what I have seen him do; how can you live such a life among such after what you?ve been through??
    ?I am but a prisoner of uncivilized brutes: I cannot live such a life, except at the whim of my gods, perhaps one day I will simply die and be released from this dreadful fate,? said the widow, just as Abu walked in.
    ?I need food and wine,? the oaf announced, the harlot withdrawing from the room.
    ?Yes,? replied Fahimah, presenting him with a bottle and a warm earthenware bowl filled with snake flesh cooked in seasoned jackal broth.
    ?Viper stew ? I can?t stand this shit!? exclaimed Abu, revolted at the boiled head of a snake floating in the bowl, an eye staring at him, surrounded by sliced onions, bits of scorpion shells, and withered parsnips.
    ?We have no more jackal, vulture, or rat meat, Muhammad has eaten it all, even to their rotting carcasses and the nauseating entrails; that and other vermin is all your Prophet will allow us to consume. I respectfully confess that I long for a fine pork roast to dine upon,? said his wife.
    ?That?s the truth; what did the Nubian harlot want here?? asked a resigned Abu, pulling the snakehead out and gnawing at it, pulling an occasional scale from his mouth with a thumb. Shuddering for a moment, he spat a tough, chewy eyeball to the floor.
    ?She came to complain to me about Muhammad shunning her comely favors, while knowing little Jewish boys,? answered Fahimah. ?She also said the Prophet is knowing your young daughter too much; I have seen it, from the way she walks, she has grown very sore from his attentions.?
    ?Yes, he should come unto Ayesha only after a week or so has passed, as do I; for it is Allah?s will for me to know my daughter. Regarding the little boys, I fear that the Prophet?s wanton pederasty is both strange and revolting to me,? Abu replied, throwing the skull to the floor in utter disgust and drinking jackal broth from the bowl.
    ?Revolting; a filthy bitch in the throes of heat is not as vile as that depraved sodomite: he is an evil, lecherous, perverted freak who lusts after the flesh of men,? his wife declared, not telling of her revulsion to her incestuous husband knowing his daughter in their bed on many occasions.
    ?They?re not men, they are infidels, according to the Prophet, such does not matter in the eyes of Allah.?
    ?Flesh protrudes from their loins; as does it from the vile crotch of Muhammad. My gods frown upon such perverse acts, condemning those who engage in those practices to eternal damnation.?
    ?They do not yet spit their seed on the ground, as Onan did, they are nothing,? replied Abu, taking a gulp from the bottle.
    ?That has nothing to do with what I am telling you husband,? said the wise Fahimah, ?Your Prophet knows little boys; it is wrong in the eyes of my gods: he is little more than a queer.?
    Oaf Abu stared at her for a moment, knowing in his heart that she was correct. He returned to his meal, peeling snakeskin from a chunk of viper, the fat carcasses of boiled maggots infesting the meat. Looking at the maggots, a frowning Abu spat, ?What the hell, I?m hungry,? stuffing the half-rotted flesh in his mouth and chasing it with wine.
    After several weeks of preparation, the rebuilt Muslim army was ready to attack Mecca. Hordes of bloodthirsty Saracens were armed with sharp scimitars of brass and iron, their bellies filled and bodies nourished with the bitter flesh of vermin.
    A drunken Muhammad, standing on the upper porch of Sabri?s house, gave a sermon, telling a crowd of devoted followers that pain, death and destruction would be visited upon the inhabitants of Mecca for resisting the will of Allah and his Prophet.
    As Muhammad smiled in delight, the crowd shouted to the heavens in unison: ?There is no god but Allah the Pig, and Muhammad is his Prophet!?
    ?He said that the last time,? Ayesha observed, Fahimah stifling a laugh while they stood only a few cubits from the vile Prophet.
    Looking to her, Abu sighed. ?Yes he did, but take care in what you utter child, for Muhammad has a great, malevolent power not of this world.?
    ?That?s because he is the Devil incarnate; may the gods of my fathers destroy that queer murderous bastard and all he has wrought,? retorted Fahimah.
    ?Do you beg for him to strike you down?? asked a frowning Abu.
    ?Perhaps I do, for death is better than this existence,? she answered bitterly, looking to the demon in man?s guise calling itself Muhammad, while feeling the life of an innocent unborn in her womb.

    Surah 124: The Defiled


    Another fortnight passed, during which Muhammad and his devoted followers delighted in the vilest of debaucheries; the drunken Prophet leaving the bodies of several murdered Jewish boys in a dark annex of Sabri?s house; their posteriors ruptured and throats slit by him. The Nubian siren Sheba watched from the shadows, shedding tears for the slaughtered children.
    Oaf Abu Bakr, fulfilling the will of Allah, again came unto his daughter Ayesha, she having recovered from the Prophet?s advances; a lecherous Muhammad occupied with knowing the remaining Jewish boys.
    ?Why is it that you know me, my father?? asked a satisfied Ayesha, sitting up on the bed after Abu had withdrawn from her and closed his robe.
    ?It is the will of Allah,? answered the oaf, looking upon her nude body. ?Cover yourself from my sight child, have you no decency??
    ?Do you not find me comely, or is the stiffness of your nether member only for my stepmother Fahimah?? asked Ayesha coyly, smiling and reclining before him.
    ?I do find you most comely, that is why you must cover yourself,? Abu ordered, finding his incestuous lust for her troubling.
    ?Yes my father,? replied an obedient Ayesha, pulling a sheet over herself.
    Crossing the desert, the Muslim army left Medina and returned to the oasis to refresh themselves and rest among the palms, the inhabitants there vexed at the presence of the Holy Prophet. A defiant Mecca stood to the south, Muhammad knowing that with the help of Allah, the army of Islam would prevail over the infidels.
    Abu learned that his nephew Abdullah had committed suicide by climbing a tall date palm and hurling himself from it, his broken body buried in the desert by his grieving father and brothers.
    Troubled, he approached Muhammad and told him of his grief.
    ?Waste not time mourning over him oaf, it was the will of Allah,? said Muhammad blithely with a wave of a hand, drunk in his tent, dining on a bowl of boiled dung beetles smothered in thick vulture gravy.
    The Nubian harlot Sheba looked to Abu in silence, sympathy in her eyes, recalling the Prophet?s licentious pederasty, having watched from in the shadows as he murdered those who dared to cry out in pain at his advances.
    ?That, or he couldn?t live with the idea of you having known him,? replied a frowning Abu, staring at the floor of the tent, sadness on his countenance.
    ?My knowing of him was a gift: how dare you question the will of Allah or his messenger!? exclaimed Muhammad, finishing his meal of dung beetles, his filthy fingers covered in cold vulture gravy.
    ?I don?t question the will of Allah, what I do question is the unrelenting stiffness of your nether member and your licentious pederasty, knowing little boys in his sight,? retorted Abu. ?Are there not captive women in our camp that could satisfy your carnal urges??
    ?Perhaps there are, but none are as tight as the lovely orifice of a little Jewish boy,? answered a smiling Muhammad.
    ?You are a hypocrite; you have repeatedly denied others of your inclination the ability to know them, stating that such actions are a sin in the eyes of Pig Allah,? said Abu boldly, revolted at the thought of pederasty.
    Harlot Sheba silently wiped tears from her cheeks, she mourning for the young victims of Muhammad?s insatiable homosexual depravity.
    ?Hypocrite, no, for Allah?s revelations do not apply to me, nor do they to you,? answered the Prophet with another smile, wiping hands on his filthy silk robe. ?You, oaf, along with myself, have sanction from Allah to do whatever we wish.?
    ?We do??
    ?Yes,? answered Muhammad, pausing to squeeze foul matter from a swollen boil on his forehead, ?It runs the gamut, from taking women in our beds, or lovely boys in our tents, or even to the knowing of pretty animals, indulging in their comely favors as it suits us.?
    ?The favors of beasts!? exclaimed Abu, ?I always thought you were a twisted bastard, but the likes of us knowing animals??
    ?A camel can be most attractive if one drinks enough wine: just look at their pretty eyes,? replied Muhammad, raising a bottle and drinking deeply from it.
    ?Such is bestiality!? exclaimed Abu in utter revulsion.
    ?No oaf, it is love; for Allah is love, and his Prophet is love: I spread Allah?s love by knowing those I desire; indulging in the favors of comely women, lovely boys, and pretty animals.?
    ?You are a depraved raper of young boys and a perverted molester of lowly beasts!? retorted Abu, looking the drunken Prophet in the eyes.
    ?Be that as it may, it is the will of Allah,? answered an uncaring Muhammad, growing visibly aroused at the thought of knowing pretty animals, a small, malnourished female camel with light brown eyes just outside his tent crossing his utterly deranged mind.
    Pulling open his filthy robe, he reached for his erection and began masturbating, the harlot turning away in disgust.
    ?Have you no respect or decency, even in the eyes of your wives and fellows?? asked Abu, turning his head and covering his eyes.
    ?You needn?t look unless you desire to pleasure Allah?s Prophet, such is the will of him should you find my organ enticing.?
    ?I?m not queer, your offer is revolting!? exclaimed Abu, turning and heading from him.
    ?Very well, be gone with you, ugh, oaf,? grunted Muhammad, reaching orgasm as he finished the sentence, spitting his seed upon the ground and his filthy silk robe.
    Leaving the tent, Abu chanced upon another of the Prophet?s followers, a dull-witted, nearly toothless man with a missing eye, known by his fellows as Sadi.
    ?Duh, where is the Prophet?? asked a staggering Sadi, he very drunk.
    ?He?s playing with himself in his tent over a camel, do you want to watch?? spat a disgusted Abu, pushing him out of the way.
    Sadi tumbled to the ground, watching Abu trudge off into the darkness.
    Returning to his tent, a troubled Abu told Fahimah of his terse words with Muhammad, and that the Holy Prophet was not only a pederaster, but also a vile practitioner of bestiality, knowing pretty animals in the sight of Allah.
    ?I told you he was little more than a depraved devil in man?s guise,? she replied, ?Only such could lust for the loins of a beast. Muhammad is an evil madman desiring death for all who oppose him; you, husband, will come to blows with him, if not only to save your very life.?
    ?Do we have any food?? asked Abu, not commenting on her wise words.
    ?Yes, with the help of your daughter and the Nubian harlot, I caught and baked several rats for us this afternoon.?
    ?It beats viper flesh, bring some to me wife, with a full bottle,? ordered a frowning Abu, hoping that drunkenness would ease his contemptuous feelings for the Holy Prophet.

    Surah 125: Mecca


    Having renewed their strength at the oasis, the vengeful warriors of Islam marched into the desert, heading south toward Mecca, killing any in their path that dared to resist. Along the way they recruited more converts: augmenting by several score a revolting cadre of amoral pirates, vicious brigands, twisted perverts, depraved pedophiles and lascivious sodomites, all hungry for glittering plunder, rivers of blood, and helpless victims.
    Muhammad and his entourage followed, a string of captive Jewish boys in chains, having been thoroughly sodomised, trudged along with them, some forced to carry the Holy Prophet in an ornate litter. Fahimah and the Nubian siren Sheba, together with Muhammad?s child wife Ayesha, were carried in another litter behind the Prophet.
    ?What are we to do about that insane monster in man?s guise?? asked Sheba, her voice low in fear of the Prophet.
    ?Nothing harlot, we are but women, and haven?t the strength to subdue such as him,? whispered Fahimah, her belly showing she was with child, fearful the Jewish boys carrying them might hear and tell the evil Prophet of their words.
    Oaf Abu, dismissing his utter disgust at the Holy Prophet?s revolting pederasty and bestiality for the moment, conversed with Muhammad in their litter as they were carried across the desolate waste.
    ?You told the followers that great Allah dwells in heaven; who else dwells there with him in his abode on high?? asked Abu, wiping sweat from his brow.
    ?His brothers,? answered the Prophet, drunk on strong wine. Covered in sweat, scratching at biting fleas in an armpit, he pulled his filthy, sweat stained silk turban from his head, revealing a head of lice ridden, matted hair drenched in perspiration. Frowning for a moment, he grunted, releasing foul gas from his posterior.
    ?What are their names?? asked a gagging Abu, pulling a curtain open for fresh air.
    Muhammad, his head reeling from drunkenness, making up the story as he went along, replied, ?Let?s see, Allah, Holiest of all Pigs, rules the heavens and the earth, sitting on his golden and bejeweled throne. His younger brothers, Hogallah the fat, Swineallah the wise, Boarallah the cyclops, and Porkallah the whiskered stand at his side, singing his praises for eternity.?
    ?You?re telling me heaven is filled with pigs??
    ?Yes,? answered Muhammad plainly, his mind much too deranged to realise his utterances made no sense at all.
    ?If that is so, what use would they have for the likes of us or our worship, considering we are not pigs?? asked Abu, confused and doubtful of the words he was hearing.
    ?Upon our ascension to heaven, we too will become holy, purified Hogs, welcomed into paradise by Allah,? declared Muhammad, crushing a flea between his fingernails. ?Once there, 72 devoted, eternally virgin Swinettes will tend our every desire, feeding us forever with ample morsels in golden troughs to sate our piggish gluttony. To slake our thirst, they will bring us welcome drink from rivers of wine, and will give us their comely favors upon demand.?
    ?Oh,? said Abu, wondering if reincarnation into a ravenous, depraved hog upon death was something worth looking forward to.
    Later, the warriors of Islam came upon a laden caravan of peaceful merchants on a trade road, heading with their wares toward Mecca. Skulking behind sand dunes, Muhammad and his devoted followers watched, laying in wait as the caravan approached.
    ?What will we do?? asked Abu, looking to the deranged Prophet.
    ?Allah told me in a dream that we will take the caravan, kill the merchants who own it, and then use the caravan to enter Mecca and subdue the infidels,? answered Muhammad, delighted at their stumbling upon easy victims in the middle of the desert.
    ?That should prove easy with the numbers we have,? replied a smiling Abu, looking forward to glittering plunder and the favors of comely women.
    Without warning, scimitars in hand, the army of Islam burst from the dunes like locusts, vicious cutthroats and pirates slaughtering the merchants and taking their goods in the name of Pig Allah.
    A young and comely water boy with green eyes, cringing in the corner of a wagon, was spared for the carnal pleasure of the lascivious Prophet, as were several dark-eyed maidens betrothed to men in Mecca. Abu Bakr, on orders of Muhammad, took their virtue, their betrothals annulled in the eyes of Allah as he knew them one by one.
    His lust satisfied, Abu handed the captives over to other trusted followers, who were then debauched by hundreds of lascivious brigands in the name of Islam. Their carnal needs sated; the warriors left the broken bodies in the wake of the caravan.
    Sitting behind the reins, Muhammad, henchman Abu at his side, headed to Mecca, followed by the vicious and depraved Muslim army. Approaching the city on the following morning, vanguards were sent forth to the gates, they telling the Meccans that merchant Fateen had arrived with goods to sell.
    ?Good friend Fateen, welcome again to our city,? said a smiling guard, unknowingly opening the gates for the vicious warriors of Islam.
    Many laden camels and wagons entered Mecca while the bulk of the Muslim army hid in the distance, the doomed inhabitants celebrating the arrival of the caravan. A Meccan elder of many years walked up to Muhammad and Abu, asking where the merchant was.
    ?Good Fateen, he was delayed and will arrive later,? Muhammad answered, reaching for his oiled garrote.
    ?You look familiar friend,? replied the elder, hiding his disgust at Muhammad?s slovenly appearance, clad in his filthy silk robe and turban; his beard matted and neck caked with dirt.
    ?Do I?? asked the evil Prophet, he and Abu stepping from the wagon. Followers hidden in other wagons reached for their weapons and prepared to strike.
    ?Yes,? said the man.
    ?I should look familiar; but I am not your friend: I am your enemy Muhammad,? retorted the Prophet as he pulled the garrote, terror filling the man?s eyes.
    Abu Bakr moved quickly and punched the hapless elder in the face with all his strength, breaking his neck from the blow as Muhammad yelled, ?Attack my followers, attack and kill the infidels in the name of Allah!? Bloodthirsty saracens burst forth, sharp scimitars in hand, gleefully slicing off arms, legs, and heads of the stunned Meccans.
    ?Good work oaf,? the Prophet declared, looking to the body of the vanquished elder as hordes of his devoted followers came though the open gates.
    An orgy of death swept over Mecca as the Muslim army slaughtered and raped in the name of Allah. Stepping over the bodies of vanquished infidels, Muhammad made his way to the Kaaba, home of the gods. Standing on the roof, oaf Abu at his side, the smiling Prophet delighted at the unremitting carnage, watching as his devoted, bloodthirsty followers murdered his enemies.
    ?Allah is smiling upon us on this day,? said Muhammad in the bright sunlight, watching as his licentious minions, having defeated the infidels, repeatedly raped the wives of the Meccans before him.
    ?He is indeed,? replied a pleased Abu, sounds of revelry and voices of screaming women filling the air.
    While greedy freebooters looted the Meccan treasury in the name of Allah, an orgy of drunken lasciviousness occurred as other Muslims celebrated their victory. Standing on the Kaaba during the festivities, Muhammad gave a sermon, declaring to his followers that they could do anything they wished to survivors who refused to embrace Islam. A cadre of lustful perverts and eager pedophiles smiled in delight at the Prophet?s welcome words, leaving the Kaaba at once in search of victims.
    Several days passed, the cries of the defiled diminishing as the army of Islam, having grown tired from the orgy, passed out from drunkenness. Hundreds of infidels lay dead in the streets, covered in flies, having died in the most horrific of ways, the women having been raped to death, the bodies of debauched children having fallen into the hands of murderous perverts and pedophiles.
    In late afternoon, the Holy Prophet, recovered from a marathon bout of drunken pederasty, roused a snoring Abu, telling him of his plans for the day. ?We must enter and cleanse the Kaaba in the name of Allah, as it is his, and only his, house,? he declared while scratching his posterior, an obedient Abu forcing the locked door down.
    Over a thousand gold, silver and alabaster idols of the gods of Mecca were contained therein; each sitting in ornate nooks prepared for them.
    ?Obscene infidels!? exclaimed an angered Muhammad, ?There is no god but Allah the Pig!?
    ?What shall we do Prophet?? asked the oaf, awaiting further orders.
    ?We must destroy them!? declared Muhammad, the Holy Prophet and Abu exhausting themselves smashing the pagan idols over the next hours.
    A breathless Abu looked about, every idol in the Kaaba having been destroyed. Searching in vain for the idol of a pig, he feared that he or Muhammad might have accidentally destroyed Allah in their frenzy of destruction. Composing himself, he asked, ?Where is Allah??
    ?Here he is oaf,? said a smiling Muhammad, pointing to a large black stone sitting on the floor of the Kaaba, surrounded by the remains of destroyed idols.
    ?Allah is a rock, I thought you said he was a pig,? said Abu, looking to the insane Prophet.
    ?Allah?s spirit dwells within this stone, when one touches it, they can feel his awesome power.?
    ?It feels like a cold rock to me,? replied a frowning Abu after having placed hands upon it. All this effort and carnage for a shapeless boulder? he thought, staring at Muhammad as though he were a madman.

    Surah 126: The God


    Having taken Mecca, the Muslims continued to defile and subdue the city in the name of Pig Allah, the inhabitants surviving the carnage now slaves of the army of Islam.
    Bodies were left to rot in the streets on orders of the Holy Prophet, the stench of bloating corpses filling the air while he and a group of his followers raided wine cellars for strong drink.
    Their new slaves forced to butcher entire herds of goats and flocks of birds for a welcome feast; Muhammad gave no thought to leaving some to replenish what they would consume. Some wise followers told him of this, to whom he replied, ?No matter, Allah will provide ample food for us.?
    ?Provide what, the bitter flesh of jackals and vultures?? asked one, the wicked Prophet pleased at the thought of them consuming vermin for sustenance.
    As Fahimah, Ayesha, the Nubian harlot, and slaves prepared the feast, a drunken Muhammad gave another sermon, standing before the Kaaba with a wine bottle in his hand. ?Did I not tell you in Medina that we would have victory over the infidels?? he slurred, as scores of celebrating followers shouted ?Yes!?
    Others shouted, ?There is no god but Allah the Pig, and Muhammad is his Prophet!?
    A few, overcome in their devotion, knelt and began to worship the Prophet, he smiling upon them and welcoming their fawning obsequiousness.
    Standing in the distance, Abu lowered his eyes, disdaining the worship of such a vile and perverted man. ?Debauched hypocrite, he only desires the worship of himself,? he spat angrily, trudging off.
    Fahimah and the Nubian harlot, together with Ayesha, watched in horror as Muhammad was placed in the ornate litter by his most devoted followers. Marching around the defiled Kaaba, the followers shouted repeatedly, ?There are no gods but Allah the Pig, and Muhammad his Prophet!? Seven times they circled the Kaaba carrying the smiling Prophet, while slaves heaped nearby tables high with the bounty of Allah.
    Delighted in his new role, the god Muhammad was brought to a long table in his litter.
    Taking a seat at the head of the table, worshipping followers fed him wine, dates, and the tender meat of roasted goat. Wolfing down the food like a glutton, in his feeding frenzy Muhammad bit off the fingertip of an elderly follower named Abbud, who, in his fanatical insanity, felt honoured to be eaten by the Holy Prophet.
    Looking to his blood covered finger, the nail crushed; Abbud smiled broadly and shouted, ?Allahu Akbar!?
    Other worshipful followers saw the crescent shape of the wound and Abbud?s devotion to Muhammad; raising him to their shoulders, they paraded around the table, shouting, ?Abbud is the chosen of the Prophet!?
    Muhammad smiled broadly, morsels of goat flesh hanging between his filthy brown teeth.
    In celebration of Muhammad?s ascension to godhood, after the feast the drunken Prophet and his worshippers had another sex orgy; a wanton spectacle of debauchery and lasciviousness: whoring, pederasty, paedophilia, even bestiality and the knowing of other men, the followers committing every perverse act imaginable in the name of Allah. Enthusiastic shouts of ?Allahu Akbar! and Allahu Al Kabeer!? were heard amongst the celebrants as the revelry continued into the early evening.
    Abu Bakr, disgusted that Muhammad would accept and encourage the worship of himself, later approached him and asked, ?How can you, of all people, place yourself before Allah in our victory over the infidels, being worshipped in blasphemy as a god before your followers??
    ?I am a god, and so are you,? replied Muhammad with a smile, quickly making a story up, ?I had a dream, and Allah said we are to be worshipped by the followers as his representatives on earth.?
    Abu looked to the Prophet sternly and retorted, ?If you want to be worshipped as a god, that is your business, but leave me out of it.?
    ?Very well, if you don?t want to be a god, that?s fine with me; as for myself, I do.?
    ?Do you actually think you are a god?? asked a somber Abu, not believing the words he was hearing.
    ?No, but it does do much for the ego,? said Muhammad while picking his nose, ?Be gone with you, go cleave unto your daughter, oaf.?
    Having nothing better to do, Abu again came unto his daughter Ayesha in the bedroom of a fine house he had claimed for himself. She, relaxing in satisfaction after he withdrew from her, said coyly, ?That is the third time you have known me in a fortnight, do you shun my stepmother?s comely favors??
    ?Cover yourself in my presence daughter, Fahimah is with child, it is not wise to touch such when they show.?
    ?You did not wish me covered earlier, will you make me with child, my father?? asked a smiling Ayesha, not covering her nudity.
    ?Yes, Allah has willed it, but not until your twelfth year.?
    ?Then you had better get used to me being naked in front of you,? said Ayesha, Abu turning his head in shame and leaving.

    Surah 127: The Vile


    More time passed. It having been revealed by Pig Allah that he was a god on earth, Prophet Muhammad, convinced he was invincible, descended further into the bowels of wanton debauchery, gluttony, drunkenness and lasciviousness, a sorrowful Abu Bakr repenting that he had ever laid eyes on him.
    The bountiful herds of goats and flocks of birds exterminated and eaten by the ravenous Muslims, the insane Muhammad ordered all adult camels butchered and eaten in another feast, the Holy Prophet saving the young females for his carnal pleasure.
    Once the camels were consumed, they and the deranged Prophet returned to dining on the bitter flesh of vermin. A reclining Muhammad, wearing his filthy silk turban, seven rings of gold and silver on his greasy fingers, was fed vulture flesh, dates and boiled dung beetles by his devoted followers, each competing to be the most favored of the Prophet.
    Between orgies, the smashed idols were cleared from the Kaaba; the remains stripped of their jewels, gold and silver before being dumped outside the city gates. The precious stones and metal were claimed by god Muhammad, and hoarded by him in the Kaaba. Availing himself of the opportunity, he and his entourage of fawning sycophants took up residence there; drunken, lustful orgies with comely harlots and perverse lasciviousness among their fellows being the order of the day.
    Each morning, Muhammad, rising from his drunken stupor, would give a sermon to his devoted followers, telling them of the wonders of afterlife in Paradise with Pig Allah and his brothers. They listened to fantastic tales of golden troughs filled with food, rivers of wine, and comely, virgin Swinettes that would sate their every desire; the Prophet at times hallucinating on hashish, moving about the floor on all fours, grunting and snorting like a pig before them. Reverent murmurs of ?Allahu Akbar? would be heard among the followers as the Prophet continued in his peroration.
    Defiling the Kaaba further in the name of Allah, all manner of filth and the bones of butchered animals littered the grounds. Each day, worshipful followers marched around it seven times, carrying the wicked Prophet in his ornate litter, shouting, ?There are no gods but Allah the Pig, and Muhammad his Prophet!?
    Growing weary of the comely favors of harlot Sheba, child wife Ayesha, and little Jewish boys, Muhammad had begun to covet little Arab boys, leering at them and their animals from his litter as they passed the Kaaba. The stiff necked infidel woman, Fahimah, now very much with child, was also an object of the Prophet?s twisted lust, she having been denied to him over the last months by oaf Abu, who was also shunned by the Holy Prophet as of late.
    Overcome by his pederastic desire for little Arab boys, on a bright afternoon a drunken Muhammad cornered one in the Kaaba, tearing off his loincloth and debauching his posterior on the black stone of Allah, while his closest followers drank wine and watched in enjoyment.
    ?But I submitted to Islam great Prophet, how could you do this to me?? said the boy, tears in his eyes after Muhammad released him from his carnal embrace.
    ?Quite easily, I have given you the honey of Allah?s love from my member, you should thank me,? said the satisfied Prophet, closing his tattered, filthy silk robe as the terrified boy ran from the Kaaba.
    Later that day, coveting the favors of pretty animals, Muhammad, his deranged mind filled with depravity, led a young female camel into the Kaaba, presenting it to his followers. Therein he embraced and knew the animal, finding it one of the most pleasing beasts he had ever encountered.
    ?Life is good,? declared a smiling Muhammad as the defiled camel walked from the Kaaba, spending the evening hours being worshipped by his followers and drinking wine until he passed out from drunkenness.
    Having heard woeful tales of the Prophet?s latest perversions from a debauched Arab boy named Saaid, Abu, walking past rotted skeletons of Meccan infidels on an early evening, consulted his wife Fahimah after entering his house. Respectful of her brutal husband, she had prepared him a warm earthenware bowl of rat soup, seasoned with peppercorns, onions, and withered parsnips.
    ?The Prophet?s actions are revolting, they go against everything he ever preached at the oasis,? he began while eating, his daughter Ayesha and the Nubian harlot also there.
    ?Prophet?? retorted Fahimah, ?I told you from the beginning that he is no prophet my husband, he is a wicked devil in the guise of man, perverse to the core, devoted to chaos and the lusts of the flesh.?
    ?I know,? replied Abu, ?But many of the followers revere him as a god on earth, we haven?t the numbers to subdue such a horde.?
    ?There are other able bodied men in Mecca that feel as you do,? said the wise Fahimah in a whisper, ?The freebooters and their ilk have no use for Muhammad or his god, they are only seeking further plunder, strong wine and the favors of willing women.?
    ?But their numbers are not as great as Muhammad?s fanatical worshippers,? mumbled a frowning Abu, his mouth full.
    ?No, but they are seasoned fighters, whereas Muhammad?s followers are little more than addled fools, drunks and the slothful.?
    ?Be that as it may, their numbers are many,? countered Abu, drinking rat broth from the bowl.
    ?Then do as he has done my husband: kill him while he sleeps,? urged Fahimah, her eyes filled with hatred for Muhammad.
    ?A real man does not lay in wait to kill those who slumber,? said a frowning Abu, repenting of the time when he had done so on orders of the Prophet.
    ?He does!? exclaimed Fahimah.
    ?Regardless, you will have to kill the Prophet my father, before he kills us,? declared Ayesha, Abu shocked at such words coming from a child.
    ?She is right,? agreed Sheba, ?Muhammad shuns us, preferring his worshippers and the favors of little Arab boys; not a fortnight will pass before he declares us infidels, turning us over to the faithful to be killed.?
    ?Bring me a bottle,? ordered Abu after finishing his meal, needing strong wine to help him decide what to do about the evil Muhammad.
  • Bueller... Bueller... Frye... Frye... Zarqawi... Zarqawi ....
    > Must be rerun time already on that aljeeza tv. The tollybon and alkayta been done a long time now. Hayull, we should sell um some old shows of American Idol and get um to call in and vote, heh heh.
    > I always wondered if Ben Stein wasn't really an Afghan druglord. He talks like a longtime hashdaddy. I think Ferris had the same suspicion.
    > Out here in the desert, my eyes get red and cracked.

    > last throes...
    > Are ve shertain dat dis is not Humpty Hump (Shock-G)?
    > Fred, don't start hating the troops on us by reminding us that the Vice President made a techincally true statement. Last throes can last several decades. We all know that.
    > Ben Stein? Please, he's only a robot. No one really speaks that way. Do they?
    > Carl,

    I'm still not convinced that Humpty and Shock-G are the same person. That's what the white man wants me to think.


    I guess I should think it then.
    > I been doing me some thinkin'.
    Algae-zebra? Ain?t that one of them hybrid plant/animal kind of deals?
    > Yeah, P.O.P, I thank they is. Good spot there, hon.
    > I'm tickled pink to see Ben Stein's career isn't over yet. It looks like it's just begining, actually.
    > the likeness is uncanny.
    > Stein has really let himself go since The Wonder Years ...
    > Oh, that clever, clever Ben Stein! All this time, he pretended to be a dry, monotone Jew of little importance and less talent, and all the while he was plotting against America!

    I say we send Ferris and his crew in Cameron's dad's sweet ride over to Afghanistan and go "batter,batter,batter, batter SWING batter upside his head!)
  • My conservative brain hurts
    > Ve must t'ink of him as der house niggra until ve can lync-- I mean, replace him mit der Aryan...white governor, I mean...
    > Are black people allowed to "carry the bible to events"? I would imagine that would worry you too.
    > Somethin' is very wrong in that Ohio if the GOP is running dark candidates. Maybe he's white on the inside.
    > Diebold's boldest AI experiment yet!
    > Man, I'm gone have nightmares, yawl.

    I cain't be bossed around by no black man! Well I guess it's OK 'cause i'm in California. Hey wait, I think there's a couple brown guys runnin for governor. Damn.
    > Duh - the name is BLACKwell. Pay attention.
  • The War on Terror is Over -- We Won
    > Mein prayed for dis dayt to cum! I velcome mit der open arms dis terroririst fugitive from justass!
    > He looks like the bass player for fucking ZZ Top,
    > I kinda thought he looked like if Eric Stoltz and Cat Stevens had a baby.
    > Orshon Velles' illegitimate son...
    > I always heard Orson Welles spread his seed in Syrian brothels.
    > Orson Velles shpread his sheed in brothels? Vy not sistels, like a heterosexual????
    > These "top guys" are like toys in cracker jack boxs. We find one in every week.
    > I am so happy that we won the war. I'm gone go out, kill me some squirrels, and celebrate. I might kick some homeless too if I'm feelin particularly frisky.
  • Moonbats New Hero
    > Vat? Colbear vuz very shupportive of der Fuhr-- President! He vuz totally shupportive, like ven he manshunned der Hindenburg! He vuz right! Dis Fuhr-- President, ist shoaring! Der shtuppid "liebarrell media" ist der problem!
    > What? Thomas driving a giant Town Car through NYC traffic? I'd rather risk being recognized in the subway.
    > I don't know what the moonbats are so flappy about. It seemed to me that Mr. Colbert stuck to his talking points quite well.
    > He does look qvite handsome mit der banana near his mout.
    > Oh crap. See, I thought this guy was praisin President Bush so I posted his whole speech!

    I guess I cain't read sarcasm, yawl.

    Damn... I better delete that post right away.

Buy Ribbon Magnets! Whatever you do, don't sign up for the military yourself! That demoralizes the troops! Let them know you really care by covering your massive SUV in ribbon magnets! Plus, be sure to buy the ones that come from Communist China. Don't let the Leftist Unions win!

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We are conservative higher order apes from the Rand System. We are not nerdy at all.

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Damned activist judges

Salt Lake Tribune - NEW TODAY: Judge comes down hard on white supremacist
A self-proclaimed skinhead who beat and severely injured an African-American bicyclist in Salt Lake City last year in a racially motivated attack had struck a deal with prosecutors to serve about six years for his crime.

But U.S. District Judge David Sam on Wednesday said about nine years would be more appropriate for David Lance Gardner, who once beat a Hispanic man to death in California in a case that was eerily similar to the Utah attack. "Hate crimes are not going to be tolerated by this court," Sam said in meting out a 105-month prison term - the maximum recommended under federal sentencing guidelines. He also ordered Gardner to pay $22,000 in restitution.

Now, here we got a good white boy who made a deal with the ZOG prosecutors, and the liberal (probably gay Muslim) judge went and ignored it!  What kind of world do we live in where a white man gets sent to federal prison for nine years for simply ordering the beating and/or killing of a black man riding a bike? 

Oh, and I'm sure that you limpwristed liberals out there will point out that this white man also beat a Hispanic man to death before.  What's one thing got to do with the other?  One guy was black.  One guy was Hispanic.  Totally different!

I am just disgusted by these activist judges who don't rule based on strict scripture reading.  I mean, didn't the judge read Exodus 11:7:

Against any of the children of Israel shall not a dog move his tongue,
against man or beast: that
ye may know how that the LORD doth put a difference between the Egyptians
and Israel.

See?  Different!  Neither blacks nor Hispanics are children of Israel!  Only white people!  Duh!

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Thank goodness Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity are safe at home

Iraq Blast Kills Two On Crew For CBS
A car bomb explosion in central Baghdad Monday killed two CBS News crew members, an Iraqi interpreter and a U.S. soldier, and severely wounded the news team's correspondent, in one of a string of attacks that killed dozens of people in Iraq over the course of the day.

Paul Douglas, a cameraman, and James Brolan, a sound man, died in the blast, CBS News said in a statement. Both men were British citizens based in London. Kimberly Dozier, an American correspondent who has covered the war in Iraq for nearly three years, was taken to a Baghdad hospital for surgery. The network said she was listed in critical condition and that doctors were "cautiously optimistic" about her prognosis.
All I can say is thank goodness that we're sending our journnalists over there so the terrorists don't attack them here. My main man, Mitch McConnell, said the same thing on Face the Nation over the weekend.

Still, I don't really understand how this could happen, given that conservative icon and three-time election failure near winner Howard Kaloogian said that Baghdad was super peaceful

Strange tidings.  I thought we had turned a corner in Iraq.  I wouldn't be surprised if al Jizzera was making all this up. 

Tuesday Morning Tire Fire

Monday, May 29, 2006

Memorial Day 2006

Once again, Cox and Forkum get it exactly
right on this most patriotic of days when
we remember our troops, then go drink
beer and eat BBQ. Here are some photos
that are so similar to this cartoon image its

Those Hamas-loving lunatics at Google
don't agree. There is no special logo
today although they even changed their
logo for some commie Spanish artist's
birthday. Go ahead and click on the link
though. We need the hits.

One Fluid Movement

From the first serve, when I slung the pelota with my cesta into a perfect rebound on 5, those wimps didn't know what they had coming. I was on fire bouncing pelota after pelota on 5 everytime until they thought they had it figured out then I would hit 6 or 4. Suckers.

You know it's a good game when you end up with a fine layer of salt on your face and the defeated forms of your opponents slumped over their cestas off the cancha wondering how you get your movements to be so fluid.

Sunday, May 28, 2006

My new book

Sorry I haven't been around much, but I've been busy editing my new book, Murdering Merchants of Child Sex-Torture: the Democrats, Californians, New Yorkers, Liberal Judges, Al Franken, Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, and Anyone Who Disagrees with Me.

Any resemblance to Ramesh Ponnuru's book The Party of Death: the Democrats, the Media, the Courts, and the Disregard for Human Life is NOT coincidental. That little creep heard about my project and rushed to get to press before me.

But I got him in the end. Or, ahem, not quite the end. I lured him up to my apartment, convinced him that bondage was a good thing, and then feasted on some tiny bits of his anatomy.

What parts? Never mind. Let's just say he used to be a baritone.


Saturday, May 27, 2006

Don't they know that they have to do everything the president says?

BBC NEWS | South Asia | Afghan assembly rejects top judge
Afghanistan's parliament has rejected President Hamid Karzai's nominee for chief justice of the Supreme Court. MPs voted 117 to 77 against the reappointment of Fazel Hadi Shinwari to a second term in the post.

I thought we were exporting American-style Democracy. Since when is the legislative branch allowed to reject the executive branch nominee? Stupid Afghans.

Friday, May 26, 2006

Happy Graduation, to all our readers!

Best Graduation Photo Ever

Look what some jerkwad stuck on my Hummer

Tales of the Winguts

I got so mad, I almost strangled one of my concubines. 

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Our leader is a wise man

"You never know what your history is going to be like until long after you're gone."

-- President (King) George W. Bush
Washington, D.C.
May 5, 2006

Truer words have never been spoken.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

How are we going to rebuild the white race if men can't cheat?

Wife Attacks Husband, Mistress With Bug Spray Can
http://www.killsbugsdead.com/i/raid_home_peglar_24.jpgAn Alabama woman is accused of turning a can of bug spray on her cheating husband and the other woman.

Cornelia Cottrell Smith, 26, faces a charge of domestic violence.

Police Sgt. Trevor Harris said a "nosy neighbor" called Smith at work to say her husband was with another woman in the couple's apartment.

The woman left work and went home where she found the two together.

Officers said Smith grabbed a can of Raid and clobbered the cheating pair. She's charged with hitting both her husband and the other woman in the head with the insecticide. Police said the woman needed stitches for a head wound, and the husband was also cut but didn't require medical treatment.
I am sure that this fellow was just doing his duty to repopulate Alabama with white babies. His wife should be ashamed from obstructing this sweet coital justice. Her cockblockery shan't be forgiven.

If my wife hit me with a can of Raid every time she caught me banging the mailman hot womenfolk in town, I'd be covered with dents and cuts.  Ladies, we love you and 'til death do us part and all that, but this is the '90s.  A man needs variety. 

http://www.rootsweb.com/~lkawgw/z_conc.jpgHell, nobody ever got mad at those Biblical kings for having a bunch of wives and concubines.  When are we gonna get concubines back in this country?  I'm all for posting the Ten Commandments in schools, but it seems to me that we ought to focus on getting concubines back into American homes. 

And, while we're on the subject, shouldn't we really lower the age of consent in this country?  I mean, a lot of the kids in the youth group at church are really smart and mature and developed smart. Can't I draft a few of them to be concubines? 

Reichminister Karl, can we work on getting comprehensive concubine legislation introduced in the House and Senate?  Work on that please. 

Oh, and don't tell my wife.  Or Pastor Roberts.  That bastard will just try to horn in on my concubines.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Bringing out the big dogs

Photo'Dog the Bounty Hunter' Weds
Duane 'Dog' Chapman, star of A&E's reality show 'Dog the Bounty Hunter,' poses with his longtime sidekick, Beth Smith after their Hawaiian Wedding.

These two great white Americans deserve all the love and happiness in the world, and after their honeymoon, they should get back to rounding up illegals and catapulting them across the border with Dog's massive pythons.

Also, I hope Beth can finally find the time time and money to remove those crippling chest tumors.

Monday, May 22, 2006

What a Woman!

Marilyn Musgrave (R-CO) is our kind of House member - and she's KKK approved!

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Praise God

Five dead in US church shooting
A gunman has opened fire at a church in the city of Baton Rouge, Louisiana, killing four people, reports from the US say. The man then abducted his wife and one of his children and fled the church, police said. The woman was later found shot dead.

Now, the secularist mafia will look at this story and say that religion has done gone and driven people crazy. Sure, five people from the church died, but look how many people at the church didn't die!  Chew on that, atheist liberal media!  God don't kill people!  And neither do guns!

Saturday, May 20, 2006

The War on Eco-Terror is over

Alleged extremists charged in arson at Vail ski resort
Four alleged environmental extremists have been indicted in a 1998 firebombing at the Vail ski resort that caused $12 million in damage ? one of the most devastating acts of ecosabotage in U.S. history.

Now that these most dangerous terrorists have been caught, we can focus on rounding up the rest of the Arabs, Muslims, and top al Qaeda lieutenants.

By the by, isn't that one of them Indigo Girls? I mean, I don't know who that is. I ain't no queer.

Friday, May 19, 2006

War on Terror over ... again

BBC NEWS | South Asia | Top Taleban commander 'arrested'
A top Taleban leader, Mullah Dadullah, has been captured in Afghanistan, Afghan officialsMullah Dadullah have told the BBC. The senior military commander was said to have been detained by international troops in southern Kandahar province. Mullah Dadullah was a member of the Taleban's 10-man leadership council before the US-led invasion in 2001. Kandahar's governor said three members of the council had been arrested but did not give names. The Taleban deny Mullah Dadullah has been captured.

Well, we've done captured another top Taleban. That's all of them, right?

And, ha ha, the Taleban denies he's been captured. Yeah, right. Next thing you know, they're going to tell us that Osama bin Laden is still alive.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Score one for the home team!

BBC NEWS | Americas | CIA 'torture' lawsuit thrown out Khaled al-Masri
A US court has dismissed a lawsuit brought by a German citizen who says he was kidnapped and beaten by the CIA. Khaled el-Masri aimed to sue former CIA chief George Tenet and other officials for their alleged role in the "extraordinary rendition" programme.

Mr el-Masri says he was picked up in Macedonia in 2003 and flown to Kabul, Afghanistan, where he alleges torture.

The judge did not rule on the truth of the allegations, but said letting the case proceed might endanger security.

Rights group the American Civil Liberties Union brought the case on behalf of Mr el-Masri - who was never charged with any terrorist offences.

Damn straight it would endanger security. If we can't kidnap innocent people off the streets of foreign countries, fly them to other countries, and then rape them with chemical lights, the terrorists win!

I'll bet this was a Republican judge who did this. Probably appointed by God himself.

Plus, look at that sumbitch. Looks like the goddamned A-Rab Penn Gillette.

Italy Pulls a Murtha

Chicken Italians ... they're pulling out of Iraq now that Prodi's in charge. Don't they know? Spain stayed in and they were fine!

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Americas New War on Terror

I am not happy that the newest outrages done by evil terrorists is not getting any attention from the MSM. Patriotic Americans are afraid to go out of there homes. Three women and one dog have been killed. And what does the government do? It just issues a few more terrorist hunting licences and tells us it's just a coincidence. I say NUKE THEM! NUKE ALL OF THEM!

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Leave them good ol' boys alone

CBC Sports: Captain indicted in Duke scandal
A grand jury in North Carolina issued an indictment Monday for a third Duke University lacrosse player, stemming from an alleged rape of a woman at a team party earlier this year.

Team captain David Evans, 23, of Bethesda, Md., was charged with first-degree forcible rape, sexual offence and kidnapping. The senior, who lived at the house where the party was held, had been cited for a noise ordinance violation and alcohol possession in the past.

That Demo-Liberal prosecutor has gone too far now! I happen to know several wealthy Duke alumni and they managed to get me this picture of David Evans on the night of the party that will completely exonerate him! You done did it now, Nifong!

You know, nothing like this would have happened if them lacrosse players had been black. Black men are never accused of rape -- ever! This is all about the country hating white people. Nobody likes white people and they have no power in this world.

For all we know, this alleged "victim" has a magic vagina and magic fingernails that can create any white DNA she wants them to. That would certainly make more sense than a bunch of drunken jocks raping a stripper!

Monday, May 15, 2006

About damn time

CNN.com - Official: Thousands of troops will head to border - May 15, 2006 vert.bordersign.gi.jpg
President Bush will order fewer than 10,000 National Guard troops to the U.S.-Mexico border to support Border Patrol agents in stopping illegal immigration, a senior administration official said Monday.

I am so sick and tired of these National Guardsmen sitting around with their thumbs up their asses and sucking off my tax dollars and getting college educations and shit. These sons of bitches have too little to do, so they sit in liberal colleges all day plotting against the government.

It's about time the president ordered them to do something. The only negative I see is that maybe we should save these boys for our new war in Iran. But, there's always the draft for that.

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Hey Activist Judge! Stop Picking on Our Guys!

You want to know why nobodys covering the Enron trial? Its because our guys are being treated like common criminals, that's why! Theat nasty lib activist judge Simeon T. Lake III is making it hard for them to get a fair trial. And nobody is testifying about what really happened because that same activist judge is refusing to give them immunity if they tell the truth about what they did and it turns out on the off chance that it was illegal. Is this any way to run a trial?

We should have known this would happen. This is the same judge who wanted to make phone calls between Texas attorneys and their clients waiting for trial to be confidental . What do you think, Simeon, that its innocent until proven guilty or something? All those prisoners were guilty and some of them at least were blacks who raped pretty white women. And what kind of name is Simeon, anyway?

That'll Teach Them Gators to Mess With Our White Wommen!

Brave trapper's killed the gator what killed a pretty white woman last week to show all the gators which are terrorizing our pretty white wommen what is what. And it didn't work! Even tho those men didn't back down, baiting the entire area with hot lung's (and I don't even want to know what those are!), another white womman was attacked in Florida just days later!

Fortunately, she was old. Plus she wasn't killed.

I say we kill all the alligators in Florida - and those crocodiles to - to keep them from killing our pretty white women!

UPDATE: Never mind. She was mexican. Let the alligators eat her! Good thing that old white bitch beat off that reptile.

This is Sweet!

When we can't blame Clinton for something ... we blame Carter! What a concept!

Saturday, May 13, 2006

How do you say rude in Mexican?

BBC NEWS | Americas | Chavez to ignore Blair on UK trip 
President Hugo ChavezVenezuelan President Hugo Chavez is to arrive in Britain for a private visit.

Mr Chavez, a radical leftist, will meet the Mayor of London Ken Livingstone as well as some Labour MPs and union leaders during his two-day trip. But he will not meet Prime Minister Tony Blair, whom he has called a pawn of the "imperialist" US.

Well, I hope this liberal douchebag enjoys his tea and scrumpets while he's being such a right neighborly asshole. Tony Blair is a fine upstanding you man and an ally in the war on terror. The only thing wrong with him is the fact that he's a stinking liberal.

And he probably has bad teeth.

Other than that, one hell of a son of a bitch.

So, Hugo, when you go to Angland, I hope you get the shits something fierce and remember why exactly you ain't speaking German and saluting a nazi flag, you sumbitch!

Save The Crazy Israelis From Themselves and Other Stuff

Senior Executive Producer and CEO of Atlas Media Network, Pamela "Atlas" Shrugs, looks for recruits for her movement to start a new conservative network which will be the real deal and won't look to nobody for subsidies. Or something like that. Her left eyebrow kind of distracted me. And the bony hands. And the frozen face. But the General of Jesus recommends her, so she must be good!

But she is a beautiful and smart woman who gives us real news from a real brain. Watch it and you to will give it one thumbs up!

UPDATE: I'm sorry that I got Pams name wrong. She is Pamela "Shrugs" Atlas.

Damn Lefty Hipocriticals!

The same people who are gettin all wigged out because the NSA collected phone call records were theyselves congrajulating the Palm Beach county prosecutor's office when they was rifling through Rush Limbaugh's private medical records. Go figure! It's hipocritical I tells you.

Some folks are claimin they don't like the goverment lissening up to our calls. The truth is that the NSA ain't got the time or even the manpower to lissen up to your boring-ass conversations with Aunt Maggie Jo. They's only "connecting the dots" of phone call records with known terrist suspects. Nobody is listening to your conversations, so quit whining, you damn whining libruals.

Here's what you should worry about, if'n you insist on worrying about something else besides being blowed up by a terrist: Many Windows PCs are chock full with hidden spiesware programs that track users keylogging, hijack browsers, plant cookies, and other user data mining. Why ain't the general public milling around Microsoft's front gate with torches and pitchforks and AK-47's over that THERE issue and demanding better security yawl? It seems to Bettty Jo, if we're really concerned about privacy, we should start at the house of Bill Gates, yawl.

Anyhow, all our personal information is already "out there" in some form or another (in my case, thanks to my cousin, Billy Bob, who stoled my credit card last week). It's really hard to get all parinoid about the NSA logging my phone call to the terrist cell at "Dominos Pizza". Ironicly, them mofo libruals on the left got their panties in a bind over the NSA program, even though they din't seem to care when Clinton done spied on them.

This here is crossposted at my blogster too.

Friday, May 12, 2006

Dear Leader in Trouble

What is this crap? How can they think Slick Willie is more honest than George W. Bush?

Another Demo-Liberal Witch Hunt

Ky. Governor Says He Will Complete Term (from jail)
Gov. Ernie Fletcher said he will complete his first term and seek a second one despite an indictment on misdemeanor charges that accuse him of illegally rewarding political supporters with state jobs.

The embattled GOP governor was charged Thursday with conspiracy, official misconduct and violating a prohibition against political discrimination. A conviction could lead to jail time and his removal from office, according to the attorney general's office.

"My conscience is clear," Fletcher said Thursday evening. "We did everything we could to uphold the law."

See, folks? He said he did everything he could to uphold the law! Isn't this man's word good enough? We all believed Bill Clinton when he said he didn't lie to the grand jury! It's not like we tried to remove him from office, so leave poor Ernie alone.

After all, all this guy did was get jobs for his buddies. Shit, that's the only reason you run for governor in a southern state. There sure as hell ain't no prestige in being the governor of Kentucky. People just assume that you ride race horses to fried chicken joints while liquored up on bourbon, all of which is true.

And, so what if this guy actually gave jobs to political cronies who got paid but didn't actually work? I mean, hasn't everyone worked with that one person who didn't pull his or her weight at this office? And, weren't they usually a minority? I ain't no racist. I'm just saying, is all.

So, if that's the case, then why ain't it okay for a white Republican political hack to have a job in the Department of Transportation where he just sits at his desk all day and draws pictures of Captain Caveman? Sure, that job could have gone to someone who was "qualified," but that's just liberal talk for "illegal immigrant." And sure, that job could have gone to someone who actually did the work that was being paid for with tax dollars, but come on. Do you really expect government workers to actually work? Stupid liberals.


Thursday, May 11, 2006

It's called a coincidence, you liberal morons!

Bush nominated Abramoff associate same day Abramoff visited the White House in 2001
Convicted lobbyist Jack Abramoff went to the White House on the same day President Bush nominated one of Abramoff's former colleagues to be Assistant Secretary of Labor.

I don't get what these liberal are crowing about. I mean, just because you meet with a guy and he gives your campaign a ton of cash doesn't mean that you listen to him when he asks you to give a cush job to one of your old poker/whore/party buddies. If I had a nickel every time some guy who gave me money asked me to give a job to some other guy, then I'd have several nickels, maybe even enough to make a quarter.

Stupid liberals. Plus, look how qualified that dude looks! He's probably never been laid, so you know that all he knows is labor stuff!

Monday, May 08, 2006

A Letter From Mahmoud ...

"Dear unclean infidel dog..." Whoa, you should see the letter that Islamofascistiranianwhackjobpresident wrote to our fearless leaker leader.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Bueller... Bueller... Frye... Frye... Zarqawi... Zarqawi ....

When did Ben Stein convert to Islam?  And, ain't no body told this rimjob that we done won the war in Afghanistan?  He can't go startin' it up again.

BBC NEWS | South Asia | Afghan rebel's pledge to al-Qaeda Gulbuddin Hekmatyar
Afghan warlord Gulbuddin Hekmatyar says that he is ready to fight under the banner of al-Qaeda, according to a video broadcast by al-Jazeera TV.

"We hope to participate with them in a battle that they lead. They hold the banner and we stand alongside them as supporters," he said in the video.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

My conservative brain hurts

Blackwell Wins GOP Nod for Ohio Governor
Secretary of State Kenneth Blackwell won the GOP nomination for governor Tuesday after campaigning as the best candidate to deliver his party from a year of political scandals and infighting.


Blackwell gained fame as the Republican chief elections official in Ohio in 2004, when the state returned President Bush to the White House. Blackwell also served in the Reagan administration and is known for carrying a Bible to events.

When I first saw the picture, I thought that Ken Blackwell was the old white guy and I was happy. And then, someone at my moose lodge Tuesday night euchre tournament told me that it was the black guy.

Now, I love this Bible-carrying true believer and believe that he can deliver Ohio from abortions and the queers, but I hate him because he's not white. It's just natural. White people are afraid of blacks. It's all part of Intelligent Design.

So, if I move to Ohio and vote, who the hell should I vote for? The pussy Democrat? Please.

I guess I'm just going to have to stay out of Ohio. It's either going to be taken over by the queer-lovin' loony left, or it's going to be run by some black guy. Aren't there any all-white states any more? What's going on in Idaho these days?

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

The War on Terror is Over -- We Won

Report: Top Al Qaeda Fugitive Detained - CBS News
A top al Qaeda leader whose links stretch from Afghan terror training camps to extremist networks operating throughout Europe has been detained in Pakistan and possibly handed over to American authorities, according to a U.S. law enforcement official. Mustafa Setmarian Nasar, a Syrian who also holds Spanish citizenship, was captured in a November 2005 sting operation in the southwestern Pakistani city of Quetta that left one person dead, said the American official, who declined to be identified further because the matter is sensitive.

Thank goodness we now have this "top al Qaeda fugitive" in custody. I have to admit that I have never even heard of this guy before today, but I'm sure it's just because I wasn't paying attention. I am sure that in the many hours of Bible study in which I have engaged over the past few years, the president must have given several dozen speeches about the importance of capturing Mustafa Setmarian Nasar.

Now, let's that sumbitch on a secret CIA flight, tap all the phones of people named Mustafa, and send him to an eastern European prison where the U.S. does not torture its detainees, though I'm not going to swear that they don't watch while musclebound Albanians do it. 

Im just so happy that the war on terror is over.  I never thought I'd see this day.  Hooray for the president!  And hooray for the military dictatorship our democratic ally in Pakistan!

Moonbats New Hero

At the White House Correspondents Dinner there was this supposed comedian, Stephen Colbert who was supposed to be all tough on our President. He was a traitor. But of course the moonbats are going all mooney and writing things like Thank you, Steven and You are so bra-aa-aaaave, Stephen! Don't they know that comedians are supposed to be nice to our leader?

Let's just remember what bravery really is. Bravery really is running over an unarmed protester with your bull dozer. Bravery is fighting the war of ideas here at home. Bravery is not standing up to a sitting president and hundreds of hostile audience members, then taking your limo home with Helen Thomas driving.

Well, maybe it's brave to get into a car with Helen Thomas. She is pretty old.