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Monday, July 31, 2006

Israel - 534 Terrorists - 52

And we're back! I'm your host Al Johson and I'm here with Bud Jefferson!

Today in their most fiercely fought inning since 1996, Israel continued its 48 hour cease-fire by striking deep into the heart of Lebanon in the Bekka Valley and also just over the border. They also bombed the hell out a popular crossing between Syria and Lebanon to keep the riff-raff out, as they say. It's just been one decisive defensive move after another today! Bud?

Thanks, Al! Meanwhile, all The Terrorists are able to do, it seems, is hang white flags on their cars and flee the country like rats from a sinking ship. About 200 Terrorists - most of them old - but still dangerous - fled Bint Jbail. Two of them died while fleeing that town... And we are having our first reports of death by starvation, Al! Yes, one of the old Bint Jbailians... or whatever you call them... died of malnutrition! Starvation is yet another defensive tool used to great advantage by the Israelis, I must say! Al?

Thanks Bud! And of course those meddling 'umpires' are at it again, Bud. The so-called United Nations took advantage of the cease-fire to send convoys of trucks loaded with food and so-called humanitarian supplies to towns in Lebanon which have been unreachable since the game began. These 'umpires' are so eager to tip the scales in favor of The Terrorists that they have been finding ways around bombed-out roads and across rivers where bridges were cut by the Israelis in defense of their homeland.

For example, they were so hot to get trucks across the Litani River to get to Marjayoun, the umpires built a ramp of stones by hand. Now that is what I call interference, Bud! And they call it 'a race against time', as if that makes it all right. Bud?

Absolutely, Al! And now, folks, you're in for a treat. We've got Art down on the field with the IDF Commander who called those first daring airstrikes yesterday during the start of 48 hour 'cease-fire'. Art? Are you there?

I'm here, Bud! And with me is Commander Ari Shev, whose brilliant and unexpected move in calling two airstrikes during an apparent cease-fire is the talk of both dugouts right now. Commander, what made you think of such a brilliant move?

Well, Art, some kids with a rocket launcher attacked two of our tanks, so I called in one airstrike for that. We missed the kids, but we did hit a house nearby, so that went well. As for the second, someone had heard a rumor that the defense minister for Hezbollah was in a convoy heading out from Tyre. So I called the second airstrike for that. Oopsie! It turns out it was really some Lebanese army personnel. Sorry 'bout that, Lebanon!

Commander, that makes me wonder how you cope when it turns out you've made a mistake. Do you meditate? Smoke? Drink? How do you cope?

...Mistakes? I don't understand the question, Art. We don't make mistakes....

Ah ha ha! That's a good one, Commander! I know you're a busy man, so I'll let you go. Do you have anything you want to add for our viewers at home?

...We dont' make mistakes and if you say that again, I'll call down an airstrike on you!!

Ah ha ha! Thank you for your stunning insights, Commander! And back to the booth! Take it away, Al and Bud!

Thank you, Art! We'll be right back after these messages!
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Comments on "Israel - 534 Terrorists - 52"


Blogger Sporty said ... (Tuesday, August 01, 2006 9:56:00 AM) : 

Well, I thought it was funny...


Blogger Carl said ... (Tuesday, August 01, 2006 10:54:00 AM) : 

Komen on, Israel! Only 90 more und mein vin der toaster!


Blogger Imad said ... (Tuesday, August 01, 2006 1:18:00 PM) : 


My guess is that lopsided nature of the 'game' made people lose interest. Otherwise, the commentary was spot on but then again, what do I know? I am just a stupid guy with an Arabic-sounding name.


Blogger Sporty said ... (Tuesday, August 01, 2006 2:32:00 PM) : 

Thanks, Imad.

Even if you are a disturbed moonbat mental patient!


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