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Sunday, August 06, 2006

Breaking: Rabid Terrorists Terrorize Girl Scouts!


At least a dozen patriotic Girl Scouts are undergoing painful medical care after an attack by rabid terrorists at a Girl Scout Camp in Northern Virgina [Note: Northern Virginia is very close to our Nation's Capitol --- ed.]

LEESBURG, Va. - Officials are recommending that nearly 1,000 Girl Scouts who may have been exposed to rabies at a Northern Virginia camp consider getting protective vaccinations.

There is only a small chance that any of the girls were infected by bats that were found in some of the sleeping shelters at Camp Potomac Woods, Loudoun County officials said...

At least 14 girls have begun receiving the monthlong series of shots, local officials said. They include the children authorities believe were most likely to have come in contact with a bat.

The vaccine consists of six to nine shots, which can cost up to $2,000. The Girl Scouts organization is covering the cost of the shots.

Camp officials have installed screens on windows, doors and eaves in all 54 of the camp's shelters since the incident.

They make it sound like the actual chance of contracting rabies is miniscule, but that is exactly what the terrorists want us to think. Next stop for the rabid bats - the White House.
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Comments on "Breaking: Rabid Terrorists Terrorize Girl Scouts!"

 

Anonymous CLEM KIDDLEHOPPER said ... (Sunday, August 06, 2006 10:59:00 AM) : 

And what the article fails to mention is that these shots are performed with a long needle into the abdomen, which will "prepare" these girls for the pain of childbirth.

All girls should be so lucky.

Perhaps we could institute a program of rabies shots for all girls in Virginia under 12?

 

Blogger Carl said ... (Sunday, August 06, 2006 11:24:00 AM) : 

Shporty! Der terrorismists is shpreading!

http://www.wnbc.com/news/9632047/detail.html

Rabid Kitten Found On Staten Island

 

Blogger Sporty said ... (Sunday, August 06, 2006 1:39:00 PM) : 

Oh NO!! The Terrorists are using kittens now!!!

Has someone notified the General?!

 

Blogger Carl said ... (Sunday, August 06, 2006 4:21:00 PM) : 

Our ally in der var against Islamohomocommiepinkoterrorismists? I donut zink he hast been varned, nein. Haff you?

 

Blogger christopher cunningham said ... (Sunday, August 06, 2006 4:54:00 PM) : 

yes, we all need to rally around the General's Kitten Task Force and ensure no rabid islamohomomexifascists infiltrate their young frisky ranks...

plus:

"We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold. I remember saying something like ?I feel a bit lightheaded; maybe you should drive?.? And suddenly there was a terrible roar all around us and the sky was full of what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving around the car, which was going about a hundred miles an hour with the top down to Las Vegas. And a voice was screaming: ?Holy Jesus! What are these goddamn animals??

Then it was quiet again. My attorney had taken his shirt off and was pouring beer on his chest, to facilitate the tanning process. ?What the hell are you yelling about?? he muttered, staring up at the sun with his eyes closed and covered with wraparound Spanish sunglasses. ?Never mind,? I said. ?It?s your turn to drive.? I hit the brakes and aimed the Great Red Shark toward the shoulder of the highway. No point mentioning those bats, I thought. The poor bastard will see them soon enough."

--Hunter S. Thompson, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, 1971

a prophet? or a terrorist?

strange indeed...

 

Blogger Sporty said ... (Sunday, August 06, 2006 5:26:00 PM) : 

Why do I have to do everything myself? All right, I've warned the General.

The more I see your fist around here, Christopher, the more I like the cut of your jib... or is that tibia... tibula?

 

Blogger Ziegfreid said ... (Sunday, August 06, 2006 7:26:00 PM) : 

If ze Islamohomocommiepinkoterrorismists are uzink rabid catz, ve need to getz Carl hiz zhotz....

 

Blogger christopher cunningham said ... (Sunday, August 06, 2006 9:11:00 PM) : 

wait, sporty, ol chum. that "like" better be in a purely "naked Spartan wrestling, heterosexual christian way".

otherwise, R. Karl might get upset with the divided attentions...

and then the terrorists have won.

 

Blogger Carl said ... (Monday, August 07, 2006 8:29:00 AM) : 

Shporty,

Der General rafooses mein letters. Mein doesn't know vy, but eet might haff somezing to do wiss Mr. Garcia und some vork he hast done for Ofjoshua...

 

Blogger Betty Jo Goering said ... (Tuesday, August 08, 2006 10:58:00 AM) : 

I'm glad yawls all such good friends and like each others jibs and tibias yawl.

I am in shock yawl that the terrists are trying to get to us using bats on girlscouts. That there is just wrong! Now I'm gone bee to afraid to buy them cookies. Who knows what the terrists put in them thin mints nowadays? Shit.

 

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