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Saturday, August 12, 2006

Breaking: Terrorists Now in Our Homes!

Now, we are no longer safe in our homes. Police were mystified, but it's obviously terrorism.

CHARLESTON, W.Va. - When Debbie Phillips tried to report a crime, police just snickered. "I told him that someone came into my house and cleaned," the president of the Putnam County School Board said. "He just laughed."

The problem wasn't that her home smelled a little fresher or looked a little tidier. The problem was that Phillips had no idea who the mystery cleaner was."

Sure, it sounds trivial, but read what this patriotic American went through:

All she knew was the rugs weren't where she had left them that morning in June. Trinkets had been rearranged and in the master bedroom, the bed was made differently.

It didn't look like anything had been stolen, but she couldn't be sure.

Uncertainty. The curse of terrorism is that none of us will ever be able to be certain in our homes again.
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Comments on "Breaking: Terrorists Now in Our Homes!"


Anonymous popin-in said ... (Saturday, August 12, 2006 8:19:00 AM) : 

I need that terrorist in my house. Damn, I'd give up my freedoms for a bit o' tidy.


Blogger Reichsminister Karl said ... (Saturday, August 12, 2006 8:23:00 AM) : 

At least they're neat terrorists - they could have left water bottles and hair gel all over the place ...


Blogger christopher cunningham said ... (Saturday, August 12, 2006 9:40:00 AM) : 

there must've been good Christian Conservatives in my house the other day because the place was filthy with near beer bottles and littered with bibles, Pro-Life pamphlets and tiny American flags.

I think the big screen was tuned to NASCAR.

praise Rebpublican Jesus for this blessed mess!


Blogger Ziegfreid said ... (Saturday, August 12, 2006 11:22:00 AM) : 

Canz yuv ventz und terrorizt fer und couple dayz? Undz do dey dooze vindovz? Und ver canz yuv getz der reffernzez?


Anonymous unhappy tim said ... (Saturday, August 12, 2006 1:39:00 PM) : 

Beware. Terrorists are now hiring Mexican laborers. They'll take our great jobs and kill us!


Blogger Media Tycoon said ... (Saturday, August 12, 2006 4:25:00 PM) : 

The terrorist that cleaned my house was a democrat because when I got home the house was not clean, all my food was gone, and he and his friends were asleep in the living room. I told them to get a job and then they said not to worry, and paid me back with their welfare checks. It was a pleasant surprise.


Blogger Betty Jo Goering said ... (Saturday, August 12, 2006 5:55:00 PM) : 

Oncet a Taliban snuck into my trailer and Febreezed it yawl. I remember it like it was yestiday.

But then again it mighta been a dream after I drank me some Sothern Comfert.

Anyway Terrists like to do tricky things like that there folks, to make you think yawls is crazy. And it works. Just ask that poor Debbie woman.


Blogger AMorris said ... (Sunday, August 13, 2006 10:12:00 AM) : 

I would have to assume that Debbie's never seen the movie 3-Iron.


Blogger Carl said ... (Monday, August 14, 2006 9:38:00 AM) : 

Der rugs vuz moved?

Must be der Muslims...


Blogger Ziegfreid said ... (Monday, August 14, 2006 1:34:00 PM) : 

Vo doez I vrent und terrorizt fer und dayz or zo?


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