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Saturday, August 12, 2006

Breaking: TSA Announces New Threat

Speaking exclusively to LGF on condition of anonymity, a senior TSA official said today:

Today, the British government, in conjunction with the US government, have uncovered a plot to use urine as a weapon aboard international flights. The details of the plot could not be disclosed but the governments have assured their respective populations that all is being done to prevent any loss of life.

As a result of the potential threat the TSA has announced that in addition to the existing screening process, all passengers will need to relieve themselves before approaching security checkpoints. All bathrooms whether in the terminal or aboard planes will be closed Passengers are being asked to "hold it" until they arrive at their destination. Passengers that do not abide by these rules will be subject to genital electric shock and prolonged interrugations.

The TSA wishes all a happy, safe and uncomfortable journey.
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Comments on "Breaking: TSA Announces New Threat"


Blogger Reichsminister Karl said ... (Saturday, August 12, 2006 10:28:00 AM) : 

If I get stuck flying commercial, I bring Pampers.


Blogger christopher cunningham said ... (Saturday, August 12, 2006 11:27:00 AM) : 

maybe Dear Leader will instigate a program of Forced Colostomy Bagging before all flights.

he could call it Freedom Bagging.

I'm looking forward to being able to relax on a flight, finally.


Anonymous unhappy tim said ... (Saturday, August 12, 2006 1:54:00 PM) : 

"Look out! He's packin'."


Blogger Betty Jo Goering said ... (Saturday, August 12, 2006 5:57:00 PM) : 

I'm bringing my Depends, yawl. What the hell,I use 'em anyway on long road trips. Ain't not too much different. Yawn.


Blogger Alicia said ... (Sunday, August 13, 2006 11:30:00 AM) : 

What color is that new threat? Yellow?


Blogger Carl said ... (Monday, August 14, 2006 9:38:00 AM) : 

Urine der money?


Anonymous Anonymous said ... (Wednesday, March 14, 2007 6:29:00 PM) : 

What a great site »


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