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Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Gott Forzakes Us!

Und mein is bettink eet's all dat Mel Gibson's fault...
GOD SAYS: 'LEAVE ME OUT OF IT!'

By Joselyn Masters, Religion Correspondent

PASSAIC, N.J. -- Attention all sports teams and their supporters, those who pray to God before each game for victory:

"The Supreme Being told us he regrets that He can no longer devote time to deciding which team is worthy of winning a sporting contest," said Jeremiah Gottlieb, a spokesman for Unified Voice, an organization that claims to get messages directly from God.

Gottlieb said the Almighty entrusted him with this message after a recent highschool football game between Erasmus High and Dan Quayle High.
"Both teams prayed to Him before the game, which is not unusual. But God said, 'There are great kids on both teams. How am I supposed to pick a favorite?'

"God also said He has nothing to do with who wins an Emmy, a Tony or a Good Citizenship award from the local Rotary Club.

"Frankly, to use a metaphor, God doesn't want to take His eye off the ball," Gottlieb said. "Which is more important, directing a 15-yearold's field goal kick through the uprights or looking after an island being slammed by a hurricane?"

"I thought God could do everything," said weeping 15-year-old field goal kicker Bobby L. O'Heem after missing a game-losing kick. "I guess next time I'll just have to help myself."
Damned Islahomofascist terrorismists!
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Comments on "Gott Forzakes Us!"

 

Blogger Mel said ... (Tuesday, August 01, 2006 12:34:00 PM) : 

I own God!

 

Blogger Carl said ... (Tuesday, August 01, 2006 12:56:00 PM) : 

Mel, vy hast t'ou forezaken us????

 

Blogger Reichsminister Karl said ... (Tuesday, August 01, 2006 1:17:00 PM) : 

Jeremiah Gottlieb will get Swift-Boated by morning!

 

Anonymous Hermann G. said ... (Tuesday, August 01, 2006 5:04:00 PM) : 

Ha! You cannot make a fool about me!

'Gottlieb' means 'Love of God'!

Ha!

 

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