Buy Ribbon Magnets! Whatever you do, don't sign up for the military yourself!
That demoralizes the troops! Let them know you really care by covering your massive SUV in ribbon magnets!
Plus, be sure to buy the ones that come from Communist China. Don't let the Leftist Unions win!
We are conservative higher order apes from the Rand System. We are not nerdy at all.
BOSTON, Mass. -- One of the last places a man can enjoy a safe, guilt-free and uninhibited evening of sexy entertainment is the strip joint. That refuge, however, may be coming to an end as the Catholic Church has begun installing confession booths inside gentlemen's clubs.
"When they first told me they were going to put a confession booth in here, I assumed they were joking," recalled Joe Sharkey, owner of Boston's Hot Foxx strip club. "It turns out the joke was on me.
"They said if I didn't allow the confession booth to be installed, they'd organize a citywide boycott and would work to get my liquor license suspended.
"I decided it was less trouble to just let them put the darn thing in."
Similar scenes have occurred throughout the city. Manned by local priests, the booths cater to both the male customers and the female strippers.
"At first, the customers mainly complained about it," Sharkey said.
"But as soon as the church 'suggested' we offer a 25 percent discount for anybody who used the confession booth, it became very popular."
"Truth be told, it saves me time visiting the confession booth in church," admitted Bob P., "so I'm killing two birds with one stone."