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Monday, August 28, 2006

Spaulding Scion Shows Us the Way!

Josiah Spaulding III, heir to the ultra-rich Spaulding family and skinhead upstanding young citizen, created a stir yesterday Saturday when he was sentenced for beating two black teenaged girls on their heads with a metal baton in 2002. He is going to be forced to remove his skinhead tattoos, to visit an African-American museum in Boston and do community service.

We think the sentence is harsh, considering he claimed the two teenagers were upset that he was yelling racial slurs at them, forcing him to chase after them and beat them into submission. Plus, there were three of them in the subway station that night, and he only beat two of them. And he also apologized to his victims those uppity kids, so what more do they want?

But the prosecuters were a little upset by his little vacation to Amsterdam for a year which they called 'flight'. On the other hand, the case has garnered some attention for our fine young lad and the sentence is getting attention for its 'creativity'.

Well played, Josiah! I guess it helps that your father is so well-connected. We should all be so wise in the choice of our parents.

Update at 08/29/06 8:29 am:

I added a photo of Mr. Spaulding III so you can see what a fine, upstanding young man he is.
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Comments on "Spaulding Scion Shows Us the Way!"


Blogger Carl said ... (Monday, August 28, 2006 2:40:00 PM) : 

Mein freund, why deed he go to dat city vere ve rolled over der Dutch like dey vere a bunch of poosies? Vot kind of men does dat? He ought to be shamed of heemself, goink to a city like Amsterdam!


Blogger Sporty said ... (Monday, August 28, 2006 5:35:00 PM) : 

Hey, Calr,

The Amsterdam thing worked out pretty well for our Josiah! It's not everyday that someone dodges prison for assault with a deadly weapon and gets hate crime charges against him dropped despite yelling rascist slurs, having Nazi and skinhead literature and having white supremacist tattoos!

Well, he won't have the tattoos for long, but I'm sure the cops will give him back his literature!


Blogger beepbeepitsme said ... (Monday, August 28, 2006 11:03:00 PM) : 

Welcome to my new blogroll :)


Blogger pissed off patricia said ... (Tuesday, August 29, 2006 5:12:00 AM) : 

Our new American slogan, The Rich Rule


Blogger Sporty said ... (Tuesday, August 29, 2006 5:31:00 AM) : 

Sorry, Carl.


And thanks, beepbeepitsme! Are you the roadrunner?


Blogger Richie McWhite said ... (Tuesday, August 29, 2006 7:18:00 AM) : 

Dammit, Sporty. You posted that picture and now I gotta go get degayed again.

That dude is like Hitler and Jeff Gannon rolled into one delicious package.

Well, I'm off to get my spiked chalice.


Blogger Carl said ... (Tuesday, August 29, 2006 8:49:00 AM) : 

Vot ein handsem mensch, Shporty...mein can see vy you are zo fond of heem!


Blogger Sporty said ... (Tuesday, August 29, 2006 3:02:00 PM) : 


I am NOT gay!


Blogger Betty Jo Goering said ... (Tuesday, August 29, 2006 4:06:00 PM) : 

Well, when uppity kids run from me I chase em too. And he was outnumbered. I bet that there judge was a bleedin heart librual, yawl.

Hey Sporty I din't know you was gay!


Blogger Sporty said ... (Tuesday, August 29, 2006 4:09:00 PM) : 

Betty Jo,

I keep telling you I'm NOT gay!


Blogger Carl said ... (Tuesday, August 29, 2006 6:29:00 PM) : 

Nein Shporty, you are not der gay. You just like der mens vot look like tall penises...


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