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Thursday, November 02, 2006

NOT GAY!

This is awful - a fine pastoral friend of our Most Revered Leader accused of being gay, the Right Rev. Ted Haggard. I mean - c'mon! Look what his Wikipedia entry has him saying:

"I don't operate technically with the gift of tongues, but I do pray in tongues every day in my prayer closet [a small room set aside for prayer and speaking in tongues at New Life Church]."

See, it's a prayer closet, not a closet closet! He comes out of it closer to Jesus. He doesn't come out of it to, like, come out! And the "gift of tongues"? Get your minds out of the gutter!

And you Colorado wingnuts - you'd better not let this keep you from the polls. You 14,000 members of Ted Haggard's congregation - you'd better vote even though ... nevermind. 9/11! Democrat terrorists slitting your throats in your beds! Speaker Pelosi! She'll raise your taxes! 9/11! Gays in the military! Every Democrat judge will be gay! And a Democrat! GAAAAHHHH!

UPDATE: See! This fine patriot says Pastor Ted's accuser is a liar! So there! (Of course, the Moonbats are ecstatic).
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Comments on "NOT GAY!"

 

Blogger Carl said ... (Thursday, November 02, 2006 10:56:00 AM) : 

Mein Gott in Himmel! Dis poor pastor...he ist merely trying to save der world from sin, one fag at der time! Mein can imagine dat he drains der sinful fluids from hees pentitents, und swallows eet for Jesus!

 

Blogger Reichsminister Karl said ... (Thursday, November 02, 2006 11:05:00 AM) : 

Vote Republican! Or else ... President Obama! Even worse - President Osama! Ted Kennedy picking your judges! Democrats making sure no child gets left behind! Old people paying reasonable prices for their meds, to Canada! GAAAHHH!!!

 

Blogger Betty Jo Goering said ... (Thursday, November 02, 2006 2:08:00 PM) : 

That there guy ain't gay. He's a pastor and everbody knows pasters ain't gay. That prostitute man is lying. He shoulda gone and got hisself degayed so he wouldn't be giving this here paster a bad reputation. Whats this world comin to yawl? I gotta ask!

 

Blogger Daniel DiRito said ... (Thursday, November 02, 2006 5:25:00 PM) : 

While one cannot conclude that this accusation will prove to be true, the man bringing the allegation has been in the Denver and Colorado Springs area for some time. His advertisements for services have appeared in local gay publications for a number of years and it wouldn't make a lot of sense for him to come forward without sufficient and accurate information to prove his claims. That is simply speculation on my part but it would seem like a huge mistake if his story is a fabrication. My hunch is that the information will bear the coming scrutiny and that the pastor's secrets are about to be exposed.

If Jesus was to be our example, then I don't understand this thing we now call Christian values. Pastor Haggard may believe that he speaks for God but his actions suggest that he merely fears his own humanity. Further, if the values he espouses exist to demonstrate his faith in the God he knows, then the God he knows must have already seen this element of his humanity that he cannot personally accept...which would mean that any true God has already accepted that which we humans won't and would also prove that the God Haggard purports to represent is not a real God but a God of his own creation designed to serve his flawed view of the human condition.

Read more here:

www.thoughttheater.com

 

Anonymous Oberfeldwebel Heinz 57 said ... (Thursday, November 02, 2006 10:03:00 PM) : 

We are running DNA tests on the outside of Herr Jones' leather boots.

 

Blogger Carl said ... (Friday, November 03, 2006 11:33:00 AM) : 

Daniel

Why do you hate gay Amerikkkans, mein herr?

 

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