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Wednesday, February 07, 2007


COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. (BP)--Having been ?paralyzed by shame? since news of his involvement with a male prostitute surfaced in November, Ted Haggard emerged from three weeks of intense psychological treatment with an e-mail to members of New Life Church in Colorado Springs, where he formerly served as pastor, Feb. 5.

?We all wanted to know why I developed such incongruity in my life. Thankfully, with the tools we gained there, along with the powerful way God has been illuminating His Word and the Holy Spirit has been convicting and healing me, we now have growing understanding which is giving me some hope for a future,? Haggard said of the treatment he and his wife received in Phoenix.

Tim Ralph, a member of the four-man board of overseers charged with guiding Haggard toward restoration, told The Denver Post that Haggard?s homosexual behavior with a male prostitute named Mike Jones was not a lifelong pattern.
You see? YOU SEE?

Now eet only takes drei weeks to de-gay, when eet used to take five years!!!!!

Dis ist great news for us!
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Comments on "GREAT NEWS!"


Blogger pissed off patricia said ... (Thursday, February 08, 2007 7:19:00 AM) : 

Pretty soon you can go to wal-mart and buy a jar of instant de-gayification. You'll go from gay to straight in less than 60 seconds. Pretty damned amazing! Praise god!

Next will be the stuff that can make you go from straight to gay. Lord, life is wonderful. Amen!

Now we must work on something that will keep female astronauts from going bat shit crazy over men.

War? What war? No time to speak of war when we have these other pressing matters at hand.


Blogger Richie McWhite said ... (Thursday, February 08, 2007 1:20:00 PM) : 

Pretty soon? I got an ass full of Sam's American Choice degaying suppositories right now!


Blogger Carl said ... (Friday, February 09, 2007 7:36:00 AM) : 

Mein hast ein jar of Vaseline Petroleum deGaying, for to get der gay out of you!


Blogger OutOfContext said ... (Friday, February 09, 2007 4:10:00 PM) : 

My wife has been rubbing me with Ben-de-gaying ointment, but now not only can't I get and erection with a woman, I smell kind of funny the rest of the time.

I believe John Glenn killed Anna Nicole for threatening to out him. I still have a few kinks to work out in that theory.

BTW, where can one send you guys an excellent kitler I captured (not in his bunker, just an image)?


Blogger Carl said ... (Saturday, February 10, 2007 3:36:00 PM) : 

Out, you can zend eet to der email in mine profile...


Blogger OutOfContext said ... (Saturday, February 10, 2007 6:20:00 PM) : 

I don't see your email you Krazy Kraut...Here is the link from my photobucket album; it is Linda Lovelace's cat who was coincidentally named Adolf Hitler.


Blogger Carl said ... (Monday, February 12, 2007 8:49:00 AM) : 

Eet has been notated, gut freund!


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